Release (Release #1)

by Aly Martinez

No one mentioned that love would also be the most devastating emotion we would ever experience.

I heard people preach that love is patient and love is kind. And I could have jumped on that train if the Bible verse didn’t also contain the biggest lie of all: Love never fails.

Bits and pieces of Ramsey were intertwined in everything I’d ever wanted in life. He was my family. My best friend. The yin to my yang. The heart to my beat.

He was being released three years and some change early and would have to spend the next thirty-six months strictly adhering to the conditions of his parole.

I didn’t know it then, but that day, Ramsey Stewart saved my life. And six years later, I’d repay him by ruining his.

That was exactly how I lived my life, showing the world a pretty exterior to hide the disaster on the inside.

I’d often wished we had a cool story about when our relationship transitioned from that of tolerating each other to discovering we were two halves of one soul. But the truth is Thea and I evolved much like the seasons: slow, steady, and unstoppable.

However, in that tree, suffering alone and also together, I fell in love with her like the stars falling from the sky.

And that was the story of how Thea became the other half of my soul. It wasn’t the romantic beginning people had inscribed in wedding rings or shared with their grandkids for generations to come. But it was us, and we would later learn that finding unconditional understanding in another human being was more extraordinary and romantic than any love story.

Little by little, she became my entire world. Which should have been the first clue that I’d eventually lose her.

Abandonment. It was Ramsey’s biggest fear.

“I can’t do this without you.” “Do what?” He lifted one shoulder in a half shrug. “Breathe.”

it took only nineteen minutes and thirty-nine seconds for him to ruin my entire life.

“The sparrows don’t come because you need them, Ramsey. They come because they need you.”

I couldn’t lie there in her bed while she suffered emotionally and physically, knowing what he’d done to her. I couldn’t let him get away with it. Something had to be done. My sparrow needed me. And for that reason alone, I kissed her shoulder, crawled out of her bed, and then destroyed us all.

“Because when I was ten years old, I met a boy. I hated him. But I needed him like my veins needed blood. He broke my leg. He broke my patience. And eventually he broke my heart. But there hasn’t been a minute that’s passed that I haven’t loved him with every single broken shard.”

“You’re mine, Ramsey. You can try to fight me. You can hate me. You can lie to yourself for the rest of your life.”

“But wherever you are, however long you are there, you are always mine.”

“There was never a day when I didn’t want you to be mine, Sparrow. I just loved you enough to hope you wouldn’t have to be.”

“We’ll talk, okay? I don’t know what’s going to happen to us. It’s been almost thirteen years. You haven’t moved on. I can’t keep my hands off you and my heart is sick and fucking tired of trying. We have a lot of things to talk about, some of which are going to be an absolute dumpster fire. But I don’t know how to stop loving you, Thea. I’ve tried. And tried. But here we are. Fucked up and in love.”

Twelve years, nine months, six days, eight hours, and forty-four minutes. That was how long it took for my life to explode all over again.

your indecision is what’s dragging her through the mud.”

Look in the mirror and decide what you want out of the rest of your life. You might be surprised by how much that answer is exactly what they both need anyway.”

“I’m sorry I checked out on you for so many years after your mother died. But thank you for allowing me back in and giving me the most incredible years of my life since.”

there had to be something good that would come from all of this pain.

How long can you want somebody before you have to let go? It’s been ten years and I still can’t figure it out.

I want us to be a family again, Ramsey. Please.

Things Ramsey wants. And in big bold letters, with nothing else on the page, it read: To be with Thea.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I choose you. I choose you, Thea. I choose us. I promise. I have absolutely nothing to offer you but headaches and stress, but if you keep me, I swear I’ll spend the rest of my life providing you with love and Tylenol.”

“Sometimes you have to let go of the life you planned in order to live the one you’re given.