When You Come Back to Me (Lost Boys, #2)

by Emma Scott

“As far as I can tell, it just means the nonstop thoughts in my head are more cunning and can torment me in multiple languages.”

“The problem is that the guy in question is not my type, to put it mildly. An All-American good boy. Warm, gooey, everyone loves him. He’s the human equivalent of a grilled cheese sandwich.”

Our song. Nothing was ours. There was no us. But Miller sang that if you never try, you’ll never know, and the words pierced me like arrows.

I wasn’t the first here, but goddamn, I wanted to be the one that he remembered. My first and his too.

“Who isn’t? Some people just hide it better. I’ve been hiding my whole life.” I gripped him tighter, holding his face in my hands. “You’re strong. You survived something terrible but you’re still here.” My voice cracked. “You’re fucking brave, Holden. You are yourself, always. I wish I were half as brave as you. But I’m going to try. Please let me try.”

“I love you, Holden. That’s real. It’s the most fucking real thing I’ll ever know.”

“I was already killing myself. Suffocating. I chased you down because you’re it for me. You’re what I want. I’d do it a thousand times over again if I had to. And I brought you here because…” Tears filled his eyes. “I needed my mom to know that I knew what love was. That I’d felt it too.”

“I never told him,” I said in a broken whisper. “He told me he loved me, and I never said it back. Not where he could hear it.” “Go to wherever he is, and you just say it.” “Because it’s that easy.” “No, it’s scary as shit,” Silas said. “But damn, Holden. Think of what could be waiting for you on the other side.”

Finally, Holden raised his head, hair tousled, eyes shining. “I’m about to say something extremely emotional and honest. Don’t hold it against me.” “You can say anything to me.” He swallowed hard. “Thank you for loving me when I didn’t.”

“Thank you for giving me back to myself,” I said, tears in my own eyes. “And I’m sorry.” “For what?” “When you left, I thought the loneliness would kill me. But I realized today at the Shack that I’d made you lonely, too. I made you lonely while we were still together, when my stupid fears and self-doubt kept us in hiding. I’m so sorry for that, Holden. You deserve to be loved out loud.”

“I love you. And Holden, that happiness you feel right now? Don’t second-guess it. You deserve it.”