All I Want Is A Kiss

by Willow Winters

Change can be unwanted, and even scary at times. But, like I tell each and every one of them, change is necessary. If you want to be at a level you’ve never been to before, you need to do something you’ve never done before.

Simple and natural makeup, but a bold red lip. I love confidence and I wear it subtly, but to pack a punch. It may seem like an oxymoron, but it works for me. It keeps me lifted and motivated. So long as I have sexy panties and a pedicure, I’m convinced I can conquer the world.

“Did you wear red for me?” The seductive cadence and deep voice behind me eases everything in me in an instant.

“Your room?” she asks, her eyes half lidded as she bites down into her bottom lip. “Damn right,” I answer her beneath my breath, leaving cash on the bar and then helping her off her stool. Her small hand slips into mine and I lead her towards the elevators, listening to click of her heels and loving how she holds on to our clasped hands with her other, her shoulder brushing against mine as we walk, as if she needs to touch me, needs to have her body close to mine.

I hate that I have to answer her the way I do, “No,” I tell her. I bet she thinks she’s gotten away with hiding her disappointment, but I see it. “That’s alright,” she tells me, even though I know she feels that same ache in her chest I do at the thought of not having another night like this planned. She can’t say goodbye so easily. Her pointer traces my collarbone when she whispers what we’ve told each other every time for years now, “It’s never goodbye. Only until next time.”

I keep thinking, it was too good to last. Wasn’t it? It was so easy and natural. Everything always fell into place with Nick… I should have known better than to think it would last or become anything more. Fuck, it hurts. It’s not supposed to hurt, when you keep yourself at a distance and make sure the relationship is casual. It’s not supposed to hurt when it ends. But I’ll be damned if that’s not exactly what I’m feeling right now.

“Because I want you. I want all of you. I love our stolen nights and I’ll do everything I can to keep giving them to you, but I need more.” A quick intake and a single step forward, closing the distance between us is all that pauses the confession I’ve been working over in my head all week. “I want to be with you, really be with you. Every day and always. Not just a secret rendezvous. I want it all. The picket fence, kids, I want it all… with you. And only you.”

“I want so much more than a kiss. All I want for Christmas, is you.”

“Just say the word, and I’ll move here. I’m ready to be with you, Olivia, I don’t think I can fathom not being able to see you again.”

“I’ve never been the girl for fairytales, but I want a happily ever after with you.”