The Lies of Locke Lamora (Gentleman Bastard #1)
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Read between June 16 - July 28, 2025
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‘Truthfully,’ whispered Locke, ‘I have never desired a Capa’s power, because I would never want a Capa’s problems.’
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‘Crooked Warden,’ said Chains, ‘just this morning I was suffering from the delusion that I was handing out the education here.’
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‘When you don’t know everything you could know, it’s a fine time to shut your fucking noisemaker and be polite.’
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‘The threat of an empty stomach soon rekindles wisdom.’
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‘We’re only doing this because nobody else in Camorr is good enough to pull this off, and nobody else is dumb enough to get stuck doing it in the first place.’
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Damn, but the boy seemed to be constitutionally incapable of remaining in high places for any length of time.
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‘And then you may dress your own wounds, sir, and apply your own poultices, though I daresay it would be quicker and easier for the pair of you to simply dig your own graves and take your ease in them until your inevitable transition to a more quiet state of affairs!’
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‘I am the Idiot King,’ he muttered, ‘of all the world’s fucking idiots.’
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‘Don’t teach a sailor to shit in the ocean,’
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don’t have to beat you, motherfucker. I just have to keep you here . . . until Jean shows up.’
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‘Some day, Locke Lamora,’ he said, ‘some day, you’re going to fuck up so magnificently, so ambitiously, so overwhelmingly that the sky will light up and the moons will spin and the gods themselves will shit comets with glee. And I just hope I’m still around to see
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‘Let me guess,’ said Reynart. ‘They’re full of shit.’