The Confectioner Chronicles (The Confectioner Chronicles, #0.5-3)

by Claire Luana

“What does that creepy old bastard want with my mother?”

i hope no creepy old bastards want anything with your mother.

“Be safe,” Roan said. “Tell the ladies I did something heroic on my way out,” Hale replied.

The best friend: "stay safe, I hope you survive bro, i'll miss you :)" Hale: "*sob sob* let the ladies know I love them" BRO YOU ARE GETTING HUNTED DOWN AND YOUR BEST FRIEND IS SAYING HIS LAST GOODBYES. AND ALL YOU CARE ABT ARE YOUR LADIES? YOU CAN GET LADIES ONCE YOU DIE REALITY CHECK PEOPLE???

“Is it possible for you to go five seconds without getting into a dick-measuring contest with someone?” Cal exploded at Hale the moment they were below.

i certainly hope so. if he can't last FIVE SECONDS without getting into a dick measuring contest i might actually pass out. how can someone be this dumb

They say jump, you ask how high. Understood?”

them: jump. NOW. me: off what

Gods, was there anything more inviting than a set of dimples?

no. Hale possesses one thing, and that is taste in women

“Once was a time to sow Is now a time to reap To pull the flaxen chaff From the fields of wheat Memories are borne On the fertile sea Souls of ones we loved Gone on to find their peace.”

idk, when i saw this i was like damn this is deep

“No need to be so obvious,” Griff remarked under his breath. “Don’t want Chiron to cut you in your sleep.” “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Hale said. “I’m staring at the voluptuous curves of that stew pot.”

uh, not the stew pot. leave the stew pot alone. the stew pot probably possesses more iq points than you do

He flashed his best smile, only to find that Chiron’s wife was on the receiving end. Ah, well. Wouldn’t hurt to ingratiate himself with her, too. Older women loved him just as much as young ones.

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

“It’s a coffee stout caramel.” She smiled. Those dimples again. Scrumptious.

ok, so the caramel is overlooked, but THE DIMPLES ARE NOT??? we've already acknowledged that dimples on anyone is great, but not the scrumptious. dimples are not.....scrumptious

“Glad…you were my brother. Even if…you’re an annoying ass sometimes.”

WERE????? WERE MY BROTHER??? NOOOOOOO

“We’ll do it together,” Hale said. “Firena brothers stick together. Promise me?” But Cal said nothing at all.

i quite liked cal actually. not as much of an ass. the one moment hale decides to acknowledge his brother's existence and be nice, cal's dead :(

Hale finally spoke. “Don’t know what to say. Except I’m sorry. For all of it. I’ll find Mother. I’ll keep her safe and be as good a son as you were. Because that’s what you’d want me to do.”

ok i feel bad noww.

“How hard can it be?” Griff let out a grunt. “Assuming the weight of your ego doesn’t drag you down the cliffside…pretty hard.

heyyyy, hale's ego isn't that.....*reads the book again*.....nvm carry on

The climb wasn’t as bad as Hale expected. Sure, his fingernails were bloody nubs, sweat poured buckets into his eyes and down his ass-crack, and his muscles ached and cramped, but they were making steady progress.

ok first of all no no no why are his fingernails bloody nubs and why is sweat pouring buckets into bros eyes and down bros ass crack

Hale slowed to gawk at the wares: fortunetellers with cards and crystals spread over purple cloths, apothecaries with bottles promising all sorts of impressive results—a powder to grow what, how big?

WHAT a powder to grow WHAT, HOW BIG????

Griff continued. “I mean, take you, for instance. You probably would have spent our entire trip trying to sleep with me, had you known I was female.”

i can't save you this time that's facts

“I’m quite a vision when I get cleaned up. I wasn’t a prize slave because I was good at climbing.” “Wait, are you…mad at me? For saying I wouldn’t have hit on you? Do you want me to hit on you?”

*facepalms*

“Do you see what I mean?” Griff said after he had disappeared again. “I can’t even get a beer as a woman.” “You can have a sip of mine,” Hale passed it over. “But only because I’m a good person who wouldn’t have hit on you.”

poor griff ALL THE FANARTS OF THEM MAKE GRIFF BLOND OR BRUNETTE before i'm stupid, griff is a redhead? hale is blond with turquoise eyes? yes? someone pls confirm

“The Huntress take me now; I’m headed straight to hell.” “Don’t forget—hell’s where all the fun happens. And seriously, don’t kill yourself over it. It’d be like being married to…” Hale was still trying to figure out what animal Theo reminded him of. Not really a bear… “A kindly buffalo!”

yeah...no thanks

“Where were you hiding those all this time?” he asked, pointing to her half-exposed bosom. “Seriously, I feel like I should have noticed.”

i hate to admit this, but i'm curious too

“I can see the charms presented by your young companion, but what do you propose I do with you?” “Pleasure slave?” Hale shrugged with a sympathetic grin. “I’m sure I could entertain some of Sryalta’s lonely widows.”

i don't think I need to note anything here. it speaks for itself like ew hale. no.

Life is lived on the edge of wager.”

well said

One time he’d walked in on her and Lucas kissing in the library.

did we really need to know that?

Here lies Wren Confectioner, whose Guildmaster once caught her kissing a boy.

that should not be on your gravestone.

The best part of the last month, hands down, had been Lucas. He pulled away from her lips and rained warm kisses across her cheeks and nose and eyelids. “You’re so cute when you’re sleepy,” he murmured, his breath hot on her skin.

awwwww lucas is such a green flag <3 but uh, it's a morning, you shouldn't be kissing her in the doorway. she just woke up dude. nonetheless <33333

Hale swallowed a jest about Imbris’s prowess in bed.

*cough cough* hale coughed down a joke abt lucas' skills in bed??? am i receiving this right?

He found himself watching Sable across the table as she took a delicate bite of ice cream, her lush lips closing around the spoon. What he would give to be that spoon.

ok ok too far. you do NOT want sables 'lush lips closing around you'

“How do you do it, Callidus?” Hale asked. “Do what?” Callidus responded warily, unable to avoid taking the bait. “Sit down with that stick shoved so far up your ass?”

MWAHAHAHAHA "how do you do that?" "....do what" "sit down with that stick shoved so far up ur ass?" classic ragebait

Wren knew that “they” were full of crap.

"i" am also full of crap

“You’ll be magnificent,” Lucas said, nuzzling her ear. “Although it’s taking all my restraint not to tell the driver to turn around and take us to my apartment this minute.”

uh, hello? what do you plan on doing with her bro. just leave her be

Wren laughed and punched his shoulder, using it as an excuse to snuggle closer against him. Lucas’s reassuring presence soothed her nerves—the rosemary scent of him, the strong solid feel of the muscles of his arm beneath the soft wool of his suit. “I won’t let anything happen to you in there,” he murmured against her hair. “I won’t leave your side. I’ll be like a leech.” She laughed. “You speak such sweet poetry to me, Prince Imbris.”

no comment. beautiful moments must be left to be

“You’d never know it by what a troll you are,” Wren joked, casting a sideways glance at him. “That’s why I love you, my dear. You’ll always give it to me straight.” Lucas said with forced cheer. Wren’s eyes widened. Love? Had Lucas just said…

HAHHAHHAHHHAHAH HE JUST EXPOSED HIS FEELINGS FOR YOU HAHAHHAH

“When you look at me, is he all that you see?” Lucas’s eyes were filled with sorrow and pleading, his wide mouth curved in a frown. Wren softened, studying him. No, the king wasn’t all she saw. She saw laugh lines from his mother, and Virgil’s kindness, and Ella’s grace. And a desire to help, to do the right thing, that was all Lucas. She saw the day they had met, the Lucas with his pen scratching in his little notebook as he resolved himself to pledge his life to save a girl he had just met. “I see you,” she whispered, reaching up to stroke the peak of his cheekbone with her thumb.

awwwwww there are so many wren lucas moments. i love them so much

Lucas threw himself over Wren, bearing her to the ground and covering her with his body. Shards of broken glass and wooden splinters rained down upon them in deadly showers.

thats even cuter. did he really just cover her body with himself so she wont get hurt?

The dress was not designed for riding, or even sitting…really for anything but standing extremely straight with her stomach sucked in….so she ended up flashing a great deal of leg. Virgil pointedly ignored this, swinging back up into the saddle behind her. “I assure you,” he said, “This is just as distasteful for me as it is for you.”

ouwch. if a woman flashes you their...legs, we dont need a pointy comment thrown at us

“You’re a gentleman, Virgil. How you and Lucas sprang from the seed of that awful man, I will never know. Ella, I can kind of see.”

even more ouwch. virgil and lucas springing from the 'seed' *cough* of king imbris.

“That’s it for me,” Lennon said, throwing down his cards. “I need my beauty sleep.”

honestly, i don't know if i've said this before, but we don't talk about lennon enough. he's like my fav character

Sable’s eyes were drooping as well, her head lolling onto Hale’s shoulder. “Come on, Sabes,” he said, giving her a gentle shake.

. "come on sabes" ew

“Hale,” she whispered, reaching up and twining her fingers in the collar of his shirt, pulling him towards her with surprising strength. “You are my favorite male.” And then her lips were against his, her mouth hot and insistent. His senses roared to life, and he was aware of everything and nothing all at once. The slick velvet of her tongue, flavored of juniper and herbs, the sharp pain of her other hand twisting in his hair, pulling him closer. Sable’s kiss was a desperate, animal thing, an exquisite agony. It was everything he had ever wanted, and yet it was all wrong. Not like this. Protests flared through his mind. She’s drunk. She doesn’t know what she’s doing. Not like this. With what could only be described as god-like willpower, Hale pulled back, breaking the kiss with a gasp, pressing his forehead against hers.

me: "oh hey guys i brought you some cookies-..... okayyyy, i uh have something to do anyway, uh see you!" *runs away from the room* "well, uh today's a bad day to have eyes" "does anyone have some bleach?"

His body pressed into the length of hers, his sharp hipbones and a telltale hardness pressing into her stomach. He stroked her auburn curls, cradling her face in his palm.

okayyy.......

Wren raked her nails across Lucas’s back, and he grabbed her hips, lifting her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist and he stumbled to the couch with her in his lap. It was some time before they came up for air. Wren’s lips were raw from kissing. They were still clothed, though Wren had contemplated undoing Lucas’s drawstring a thousand times. Wren buried her face in the curve of Lucas’s neck and sighed into it, resting for a moment.

oh my days i feel like i'm taking in too many intimate moments today. this cannot be good for my health.

“Is there no end to the pomposity of men?” she muttered. “Likely not,” Lucas said. “We are a hopeless gender, the lot of us.” “They say acceptance is the first step,” Wren joked.

indeed. well said lucas. yall are a hopeless gender

Marina was the daughter of Grandmaster Beckett, one of their Guild’s most prominent members—and most uptight assholes.

what a beautiful and kind way to describe someone

“He went to take a piss and disappeared,”

no sht way to be super literal

“I’ll go see Lucas,” Wren said, standing suddenly.

ofc you need to go see lucas

“About the fact that I’m in love with you. And I think you love me too.” There, it was out. He felt like there should be fanfare. A parade. Three years of being too chickenshit and he had finally said it.

yayyyy, hale finally confessed. i actually love this scene, like no sarcasm intended, this is so cute. three years of being too chickenshit. three years. three years. one too many

“You know I feel the same, you oaf. Even though you are a stubborn, self-absorbed, womanizing ass of a man.”

oh. uh. i guess she confessed too?

“This is real life, not a storybook, Hale,” Sable said, her dark eyes flashing. “There are no happy endings.”

if anyone's read the book, "ballads don't end happily, and neither do the two of us"

Sable stiffened beneath him for a moment before her body melted against his like caramel, her soft curves pressing into the hard planes of his body. And then her hands were on his neck, heat rising between them as they fell into each other in a tangle of limbs and tongues. Need pulsed in him, deep and low. He needed her closer, needed to demolish all barriers between them. His hands roamed down the length of her and he grabbed her firm backside, spinning and depositing her on the island in one lithe motion. She let out a little noise of surprise that only threw fuel on the fire that burned within him.

too much, too much. come on, calm down. i feel like i shouldn't be reading this

“Sable,” he said gently. “I wanted you from the moment I laid eyes on you. I’m not going to give up on us.” Sable looked up at him. Tears shimmered like dusted sugar on her dark lashes. She shook her head. “I’m sorry. It’s a pleasant dream. But that’s all it can be.”

no hate pls, but i dont support hale and sable. hale does not deserve sable. i dislike hale. like ew you just tried to hit on every woman in existence and now you're trying to get sable like ew bro no