The Modern Break-Up

by Daniel Chidiac

Weird things happen to me when I’m faced with a guy I’m really attracted to.

“There’s always a guy—or a few guys, actually—out of all the guys you meet who stick around in your mind for a long time. They’re in ‘the web.’ You think about ‘em from time to time or you see a post of theirs on Insta and you reach out. There’s still a bit of hope they’ll catch up with you again. And it goes around in a circle,”

“When you do contact them, you wait by your phone like an idiot for them to respond. Instead you should be telling them to fuck off

When they want to hang out, you’ll drop everything for them. You’re weaker with them than the rest.

And the shit thing is, they can be caught in that web for years. They hang around because the situation didn’t go the way you wanted it to. It doesn’t mean you wanted to marry them—you just want them to chase your ass instead. You want the power,”

I actually don't want the power; I did feel love for him

It’s just understanding how courtship works. The less attention you give the hot ones, the more they want you. Make them feel a little insecure and you’ll have them eating out of the palm of your hand. You need to stop being so nice and actually bruise their ego.

just want people to be real and upfront with me. Stop the bullshit,”

“I feel like I’m too extreme. I don’t think I’m cut out to be with someone. I either love them too much or I just don’t care. It’s always one way or the other. Maybe I should’ve been less available to him. I should’ve made it harder for him to get my time.”

you have to think of things you disliked about him. If you don’t, it will drive you crazy. Eventually, this perfect image of him will start to crack and you’ll feel a little better. You dodged a bullet with this guy, trust me. You might not see it now, but it’s a blessing in disguise he left.

when you stop chasing them, their mind automatically starts wondering what you’re doing. They wonder who you’re with and whether you really needed them as much as they thought. And that’s exactly what you want them to think.”

By not contacting him, he’s starting to feel rejection.

Don’t give him the satisfaction of knowing you still care. You showed him that in the past and he took advantage of it. He doesn’t deserve to know. If you want some

dignity and self-respect back, if you want him to think you’re that strong girl he met, don’t show any more weakness.”

sometimes I feel like we’re all hypocrites in the dating world.”

We expect someone we like to give us a chance even though they’re not interested.

“Closure comes from knowing ourselves, knowing our worth, and finally realizing what we deserve. It’s seeing the other person for who they really are, not who we’ve made them to be in our head. I don’t think he really knows why he acts the way he does. I don’t think he truly knows himself. If anything, your closure right now is knowing how confused he is. You want a man, not a little boy,”

“You’re trying to find any way to understand what happened, but you can’t. You don’t understand him because he doesn’t understand himself. If he did, it would be clearer to you. There is nothing wrong with you. It’s all in your head. Anyway, you shouldn’t have to be someone else to suit anybody. You are who you are, and you don’t give that up for anyone,” Zara said assertively.

don’t sacrifice the person you are to suit somebody else’s insecurities, jealousy, or lack of love. And stop letting your happiness be solely dependent on someone else’s mood. That’s how it got with you in the end. You changed. He brought out the worst in you,” she

“The future is what you make it.

Every time he messages me, my heart skips a beat

I also had to accept that sometimes those who ignore my offer of love and care are highly insecure themselves. It’s not rejection, and in a lot of cases, they end up with someone who isn’t half the person I was to them.

Being compatible with someone isn’t always about the obsessive feeling I initially get; I realize that now. It isn’t always waiting for their text, wondering what they’re doing all the time, or chasing because they’re running. That’s not being genuinely interested in who they are; that’s being fixated on trying to force an energy to sync when it doesn’t.

Real love feels better. It’s more available. It’s long conversations. It’s feeling like you can call that person at any time of the day, but more importantly, not being scared that you’ll look desperate in the process.

know deep down that I should be stronger than this. I know that I need to close the door and accept that my love wasn’t appreciated. Not because it was wrong, but because I gave it to someone who couldn’t understand it. I know I went too deep in my emotions for him. I know that I surrendered my power, my trust, and my mind to him. I fell. And I’m not sure we should “fall” for anybody now. Why do we have to fall? I want to stand next time I love someone. I want to be stronger.

“You have to stop expecting people who don’t love themselves to love you the way you love them.”

it. It’s the way you feel about someone; it’s how someone makes you feel.

“Getting your heart broken is one of the most painful things in life … it’s your sense of direction changing. It’s your future being smashed into a million pieces. To lose all direction is a helpless feeling. Without having something to look forward to, you have no incentive to do purposeful things. But your main aim now—and it will take time—is to rebuild a future in your mind without him.

‘No matter how attractive a person’s potential may be, you have to date their reality.’

You can know someone isn’t right for you and still be weak toward them.

Tell me about it

“What do I really want?” If that’s not clear, they’ll just latch onto anyone who grabs their attention … or to the one who isn’t giving them enough. They have to stop being so subconsciously desperate.

They’re just so ready to give themselves to the first hot guy who comes along.

A man has respect and integrity. He has self-awareness and will fight to give the people he loves the best opportunity in life, not make them constantly feel insecure. So many girls ignore gentlemen who actually want to get to know t...

control. We have to choose men who respect us for the amazing beings that we are. The more love we find for ourselves, the more we realize that.

most times, people will treat you the way you allow them to treat you.

Girls need to take a deep breath, put all the garbage aside, and actually get to know someone before they commit with their mind and heart. They need to understand what it takes to build a life with someone. To accept that compatibility is as important as attraction. When they meet someone new, they have to ask them...

to things that are important to me? What are his morals and values? What d...

And the hardest part is not lying to themselves and facing the truth when things don’t add up. No one is perfect, but there needs to be some ...

Those with high narcissistic traits tend to act ignorant toward the way they make others feel. They don’t care how they make you feel because they want to feel good about the situation, and they will go to any measures to achieve that. They will manipulate you, give you false hope, and play mind games. They feel good knowing other people desire them, and if they have to, they will make you insecure to achieve that. They usually have double standards; what’s good for them is usually not good for their partner.

They won’t praise you often but will speak freely about their own achievements. They’re rarely proud of your accomplishments, even if they might portray that on the surface. A lot of times, they feel inadequate and get jealous. It can feel like you’re competing with someone who is meant to be your lover or friend. They will do weird things when you stop talking and give you mixed messages.

Narcissistic people rarely admit their own faults; it’s easier to blame others than to face their own demons. They’re also generally full of excuses.

At the end of the day, we choose who we dedicate our time to and who we allow in.

Empathy will take time, but that is the only way to heal. Being empathetic doesn’t mean being weak,”

“Just don’t give your heart away to someone so easily. Share it but never give it away completely. You lose your connection with your soul that way. You need to make sure you’re getting what you really want.

“To me, a man is over the bullshit. He doesn’t make a commitment unless he knows he is ready and then he is mature in the way he goes about it. He understands others because he understands himself.

He can rationalize his experiences and choices. He knows his own faults and doesn’t always try to blame others for his mistakes. He has goals. He’s driven. He has direction. He supports and protects those he loves. And I’m not saying that guys who don’t have these qualities yet are bad or those who don’t want a relationship aren’t men. But if a man is committing to a relationship, he should know what it involves before he does.

if he was a man who was ready, that’s something he wo...

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