The Perks of Being a Wallflower

by Stephen Chbosky

So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I’m still trying to figure out how that could be.

I wish I knew. It might make me miss him more clearly. It might have made sad sense.

Some people really do have it a lot worse than I do. They really do.

and crying. He was crying harder than even my mom. And I couldn’t believe it.

I can’t help but love them very much.

I looked at them, and they looked really happy together. A good kind of happy.

And I wonder if anyone is really happy. I hope they are. I really hope they are.

It’s just that sometimes people use thought to not participate in life.”

“Charlie, we accept the love we think we deserve.” I just stood there, quiet. Bill patted my shoulder and gave me a new book to read. He told me everything was going to be okay.

“You’re a freak, you know that? You’ve always been a freak. Everyone says so. They always have.”

He never touched my brother or sister. And the only time he ever slapped me was when I made my Aunt Helen cry.

“Not everyone has a sob story, Charlie, and even if they do, it’s no excuse.”

My sister is still mad at me, but my dad said I did the right thing. I hope that I did, but it’s hard to tell sometimes.

saying “no.” Even when I covered my ears, I could still hear her say

“He raped her, didn’t he?” She just nodded. I couldn’t tell if she was sad or just knew more things than me.

Since you are older, I think you know what kind of brownie it was.

All Bob did was laugh. And Sam finally laughed, too. And I was glad that everyone seemed as happy as they seemed.

I saw Patrick kissing Brad. It was a stolen type of kissing. They heard me in the door and turned around.

“Listen, Charlie. Brad doesn’t want people to know.

“He’s a wallflower.”

“You see things. You keep quiet about them. And you understand.”

And in that moment, I swear we were infinite.

The kids called the game “smear the queer.” I didn’t really think about what that means until now.

And they ended up fooling around right there in the basement. Patrick said it was like the weight of the whole world left both their shoulders.

Patrick said Brad couldn’t even look at him in the hall, let alone speak with him. And it was hard, too, because Patrick really liked Brad.

and Patrick just said that he wasn’t sad because at least now, Brad doesn’t have to get drunk or stoned to make love.

To tell you the truth, I love Sam. It’s not a movie kind of love either. I just look at her sometimes, and I think she is the prettiest and nicest person in the whole world.

Sam has low self-esteem.

I’m not even realizing it because they don’t involve a ball.

I just hope I remember to tell my kids that they are as happy as I look in my old photographs. And I hope that they believe me.

She just stood outside the dressing room and worried out loud.

First, I am very interested and fascinated by how everyone loves each other, but no one really likes each other.

Or my sister. Or me. That he would make sure that he was the last one to work in a mill.

I don’t know if it’s better to be close with your daughter or make sure that she has a better life than you do. I just don’t know.

I hope the people who wrote those songs are happy. I hope that they feel it’s enough. I really do because they’ve made me happy.

I want to know that this person is okay.

And I looked at them. And I think they knew. Not anything specific really. They just knew. And I think that’s all you can ever ask from a friend.

think they started feeling bad because they didn’t get me anything. But I don’t think they should have because I don’t think that’s the point really.

And for the first time, something nice like that made me smile and not cry.

She told me that it was with one of her dad’s friends. She was seven. And she told nobody about it except for Mary Elizabeth and then Patrick a year ago. And she started to cry.

I went to that place. It got so bad that my mom had to take me to a doctor, and I was held back a grade.

He said it was the kind of book you made your own.

I always get sad when this happens, and I wish Michael were here. And I wish my Aunt Helen were here.

I just wanted to know what to buy my dad because I love him. And I don’t know him.

He hit my dad all the time. And he hit my aunt Rebecca all the time.

Because my brother said that my cousin is the only one in his family who has a chance. He needs my dad. I guess I understand that now.

I will just say that my aunt Helen was molested. I hate that word. It was done by someone who was very close to her. It was not her dad.

On December 24, 1983, a policeman came to the door. My aunt Helen was in a terrible car accident.

I remember not being allowed to go to the funeral. I remember never saying good-bye to my Aunt Helen.

I can’t stop thinking what I know. And I know that my aunt Helen would still be alive today if she just bought me one present like everybody else. She would be alive if I were born on a day that didn’t snow.