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Dolly says love is like a butterfly, soft and gentle as a sigh, but from what I’ve seen of love, I think
it’s more like a tornado, shocking and violent and so powerful it can rip your soul out of your mouth…
It actually feels pretty good standing in the scorching heat after that ice bath. My limbs are loose from the running and the laughing and the adrenaline, but as I watch her wading toward me, water running down her beautiful body, hair clinging to her cheeks and neck, I start to feel a different kind of adrenaline.
“I want to kiss you.” My voice cracks roughly. I barely recognize it.
She nods, and I stretch up as she meets me halfway. Our lips brush, and it’s like two flints striking. Sparks swirl between us
as I push her mouth open ...
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I’ve just never been touched or kissed this way. Kissing Taron makes me understand what the songs and books and movies are about. Now I know why people lose their minds and do crazy things for other people.
Heaven is finding the thing you can’t live without and being able to hold it. Hell is knowing you’ll have to let it go.
Listening to him, I can’t hold back anymore. I blink, and a tear falls. He scoops it away with his thumb. “I fell in love with
you. I love you, Noel Aveline LaGrange.”
My throat hurts, and I’m ready to say the words that have been burning in ...
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It seems to settle him, like he decides in that moment. “I have to leave you tomorrow, but I’m coming back… for y...
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“I’ll wait for you.” My voice is soft, but determined just like his. I’ve decided, too. “I’ve waited for you my whole life. I’ll
wait for you as long as it takes.”
Inside my chest, the path of destruction is
miles wide, splintered throughout, written in his hand, with his words. I can’t feel my heart beat. I only feel sharp stabs of broken wreckage. A wasteland where my dreams once grew green and thriving.
As it stands, the only tattoo I have I got in the throes of a bender, a week when all I could do was lie on my back in my bed and ache for Noel. Her name is inked above my heart, where she will always be.
When my heart was torn apart, she came and brought me peace. She calmed the storm and brought back the sunshine. It’s like all the happiness and love we found that summer is enclosed in her little body. Even with those blue-green eyes
that twist the ache in my chest at times, she brings me so much joy.
“Mamma says if you see somebody who needs a smile, you should give ‘em one of yours.”
She smiles at me, and a little dimple appears just below her mouth—just like her mother’s. And just that fast, she steals my heart. “Do I need a smile?”
If I could stay clean long enough to know I wouldn’t hurt her again, I’d try one more time to deserve her.
“Remember it’s the darkest nights that produce the brightest stars.
If he’s showing you his true colors, believe him.” “But how do I know which are the true ones?” “You’ll know.”
“I love you, Daddy.” It’s the sweetest whisper, and my heart melts completely in her hand.
“A long time ago, you caught me when I fell.” My voice is a high contrast to his. “You said you’d save me if I ever needed saving.” “You said you’d save me right back.”
Dolly would say storms make trees take deeper roots…
She blinks quickly, putting the last pat of butter in the last biscuit. “I’m not
not sure… I guess I just want to be completely sure.”
Lifting her hand, I kiss her palm. Our eyes meet, and I hope she can see the depth of my commitment. I hope she can see my heart. “I’ll wait for you.”
“Sawyer said sometimes good people get hit hard. We have to forgive them because we never know when it might be our turn to need forgiveness.”
A smile curls his lips, and he steps forward into
a brief hug. “We’ve got you.”
Telling Taron I need space is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
Being in his arms was like going home. He might have torn my heart out by the roots seven years ago, but he also planted the seed of forgiveness when he gave me Dove.
“Our daughter will love you no matter what. Because you love her unconditionally.”
I’ve learned love is a tornado, destructive and fierce and powerful. It’s also a butterfly, soft, gentle, beautiful. But to get
to the butterfly, you must go through the tornado. Love has to change you. You have to grow, and it’s difficult and life-altering and scary and lonely… but coming out on the other side, we’ve spread our wings.
Family doesn’t stop going just because you can’t see it. Family is something that is unbreakable, forever. It’s in the trees, stretching up to the heavens. It’s tradition and laughter and love. My final thanks is to them. We’re starting a new family, and this family isn’t afraid of the tornado. This family can fly.
