After he leaves, I take a shower to wash away my pain. Yet my mind is still tormented by what he has just done. I’ve never refused him before—why would he need to be so rough? I think about Mom and her warnings about Alex, and Margaret telling me how all women, after a while, were trained to please him and do whatever he wanted. Is this something he expects from me? The more I think about it, the more questions I have. “I’m all yours. My entire body belongs to you,” I remember telling him in Aspen. Shit. And now I’m scared. Very scared. Not of him, but of losing him if I become too docile and
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Now she thinks about the consequences and the weight of what is really going on in front of her????
