Think Like a Monk: Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Every Day

by Jay Shetty

Putting a solution-oriented spin on your statement reminds you to be proactive and take responsibility rather than languishing in wishful thinking.

We can take action instead of using words alone to reframe our state of mind.

A simple way of overcoming this is to learn one new...

Use the awareness of what deep pain really is to keep smaller disruptions in perspective.

Sometimes reframing works best on paper.

When your mind is anxious and racing, when your thoughts are repetitive and unproductive,

when you feel like you need to press pause, take fifteen minutes to write down every thought that enters your mind.

Another option is to simply repeat an ancient samurai saying that the monks use: “Make my mind my friend,” over and over in your head. When you repeat a phrase, it quiets the default mode network—the area of the brain associated with mind wandering and thinking about yourself. The monkey will be forced to stop and listen.

it’s about observing your feelings without judging them.

We say things to ourselves that we would never say to people we love.

Treat yourself with the same love and respect you want to show to others.

What we don’t want to do is waste time on regret or worry.

Only by detaching can we truly gain control of the mind.

All of the ways we’ve already talked about training the mind involve detaching: becoming an objective observer of the competing voices in your head, having new conversations with the conscious mind to reframe thoughts, finding compassion for yourself, staying in the moment. Instead of reactively doing what we want, we proactively evaluate the situation and do what is right.

“If you ruminate on sadness and negativity,” he explained, “it will reinforce a sense of sadness and negativity. But if you cultivate compassion, joy, and inner freedom, then you build up a kind of resilience, and you can face life with confidence.”

To contemplate the difference between yourself and your persona, think about the choices you make when you’re alone, when there’s nobody to judge you and nobody you’re trying to impress.

“You are who you are when no one is watching.”

The ego craves recognition, acknowledgment, praise; to be right, to be more, to put others down, to raise us up.

we find countless ways to judge others unfavorably just because they’re different.

Our ego sets us on a path where we put more value on ourselves and those whom we recognize as being “like us.”

Whenever you think someone’s status or worth is less than yours, turn your gaze back toward yourself and look for why your ego feels threatened.

we attempt to elevate ourselves by judging others,

Am I finding fault in order to distract myself or others from my own insecurities? Am I projecting my own weakness onto them? And even if I’m doing neither of those things, am I any better than the person I’m criticizing?

when you demand or feel entitled to it, you are looking for respect that you haven’t earned.

we are too wrapped up in ourselves and how others perceive us.

The two things to remember are the bad we’ve done to others and the good others have done for us. By focusing on the bad we’ve done to others, our egos are forced to remember our imperfections and regrets. This keeps us grounded. When we remember the good others have done for us, we feel humbled by our need for others and our gratitude for the gifts we have received.

The two things that we were told to forget are the good we’ve done for others and the bad others have done to us.

Don’t take everything personally—it is usually not about you.

What belongs to you today, belonged to someone yesterday and will be someone else’s tomorrow.”

respond to the situation, not the insult.

The desire to be right, to win, comes from your ego’s unwillingness to admit weakness.

Remember you can be right, or you can move forward. See the other person’s side.

When we feel insecure—we aren’t where we want to be in our careers, our relationships, or in reference to other milestones we’ve set for ourselves—either the ego comes to our defense or our self-esteem plummets. Either way, it’s all about us.

Being literally undone by failure is akin to ‘negative narcissism.’

Humility comes from accepting where you are without seeing it as a reflection of who you are.

So often we don’t take chances because we fear failure, and that often boils down to a fear of our egos getting hurt.

Being a victim is the ego turned inside out.

When you fail, instead of giving in to a sense of victimhood, think of the moment as a humility anchor, keeping you grounded.

Then ask yourself, “What is going to restore my confidence?”

It won’t grow from an external factor that’s beyo...

Humility allows you to see your own strengths and weaknesses clearly, so you can work, learn, and grow. Confidence and high self-esteem help you accept yourself as you are, humble, imperfect, and striving. Let’s not confuse an inflated ego with healthy self-esteem.

The ego wants everyone to like you. High self-esteem is just fine if they don’t.

the deflated ego sees criticism where it doesn’t exist.

if you envision your hopes, dreams, and fears of the future, you can process feelings before they happen, strengthening yourself to take on new challenges.

Anything you see in the man-made world—this book, a table, a clock—whatever it is, it existed in someone’s mind before it came to be. In order to create something we have to imagine it. This is why visualization is so important.

Scientists at the Cleveland Clinic showed that people who imagined contracting a muscle in their little finger over twelve weeks increased its strength by almost as much as people who did actual finger exercises over the same period of time.

visualization creates real changes in our bodies.

Meditation is not broken when you’re distracted. It is broken when you let yourself pursue the distracting thought or lose your concentration and think, Oh, I’m so bad at this. Part of the practice of meditation is to observe the thought, let it be, then come back to what you were focusing on. If it isn’t hard, you’re not doing it right.

Appreciate everything, even the ordinary. Especially the ordinary.

We’re in the habit of thinking that we don’t deserve misfortune, but that we do deserve whatever blessings have come our way.