Think Like a Monk: Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Every Day

by Jay Shetty

it’s been shown that writing in a journal about upsetting events, giving attention to your thoughts and emotions, can foster growth and healing, not only mentally, but also physically.

If I only find joy in my own successes, I’m limiting my joy. But if I can take pleasure in the successes of my friends and family—ten, twenty, fifty people!—I

we’re much more comfortable finding fault in other people and then forgiving it. We’re not used to admitting fault and taking responsibility for what we create in our lives.

TRY THIS: FORGIVE YOURSELF The exercise above can also be used to forgive yourself. Starting each line with “I forgive myself for … ,” list the reasons you feel angry at or disappointed in yourself. Then read it out loud or record it and play it for yourself.

We needn’t reduce our thoughts and words to 100 percent sunshine and positivity. But we should challenge ourselves to dig to the root of negativity, to understand its origins in ourselves and those around us, and to be mindful and deliberate in how we manage the energy it absorbs. We begin to let go through recognition and forgiveness.

The less time you fixate on everyone else, the more time you have to focus on yourself.

Negativity, as we’ve discussed, often arises from fear.

Fear does not prevent death. It prevents life.

that’s what we do with fear. We distract ourselves from it,” Gauranga Das says. “You need to go past that place.”

explore what was behind that fear.

Our brains are really good at keeping us from entering uncomfortable spaces. But by repeating a question rather than rephrasing it, we essentially corner our brain.

As you develop your relationship with your fear, you’ll have to distinguish between branches—the immediate fears that come up during your self-interview—and the root.

If we learn how to recognize what fear can teach us about ourselves and what we value, then we can use it as a tool to obtain greater meaning, purpose, and fulfillment in our lives. We can use fear to get to the best of us.

If we can stop viewing stress and the fear that often accompanies it as negative and instead see the potential benefits, we’re on our way to changing our relationship with fear.

When you deal with fear and hardship, you realize that you’re capable of dealing with fear and hardship.

we have four different emotional reactions to fear: We panic, we freeze, we run away, or we bury it,

we have to change our perception of it.

To close the gap with our fear, we must acknowledge its presence.

“Is this decision influenced by how others will perceive me?” In this way, I can use my awareness of my fear as a tool to help me make decisions that are truly in line with my values and purpose.

When we talk about our emotions, we usually say we are that emotion. I am angry. I am sad. I am afraid. Talking to our fear separates it from us and helps us understand that the fear is not us, it is just something we’re experiencing.

When we track our fears back to their source, most of us find that they’re closely related to attachment—our need to own and control things.

when we accept the temporary nature of everything in our lives, we can feel gratitude for the good fortune of getting to borrow them for a time.

a useful fear alerts us to a situation we can change.

We can’t stop our parents from dying, but we use the fear to remind us to spend more time with them.

all things are temporary and that we can’t truly own or control anything,

as you become more and more accepting of the fact that we don’t truly own or control anything, you’ll find yourself actually enjoying and valuing people, things, and experiences more, and being more thoughtful about which ones you choose to include in your life.

“Don’t judge the moment.”

fear manifests in the body,

Panic and freezing are a disconnect between our bodies and our minds.

Either our bodies go on high alert and rush ahead of our mental processes, or our minds are racing and ...

a monk, I learned a simple breathing exercise to help realign my body and mind and stop fear from stopping me. I still use it every time I’m about to give a talk to a large group, enter a stressful m...

deep breathing activates a part of our nervous system called the vagus nerve, which in turn stimulates a relaxation response throughout our bodies.

the more we practice looking in the rearview mirror and finding gratitude for the hard times we’ve experienced, the more we start to change our programming; the gap between suffering and gratitude gets smaller and smaller;

When we deny fear, our problems follow us.

It’s often said that when the fear of staying the same outweighs the fear of change, that is when we change.

Whether you suppress them or run away from them, your fears and your problems remain with you—and they accumulate.

when we channel the energy behind our fears toward service, we diminish our fear of not having enough, and feel happier, more fulfilled, and more connected to the world around us.

Do you want to memorize all of the scripture because it’s an impressive achievement, or do you want the experience of having studied it? In the first, all you want is the outcome. In the second, you are curious about what you might learn from the process.”

We think that success equals happiness, but this idea is an illusion.

“As long as we keep attaching our happiness to the external events of our lives, which are ever changing, we’ll always be left waiting for it.”

our search is never for a thing, but for the feeling we think the thing will give us.

Material gratification is external, but happiness is internal.

Happiness and fulfillment come only from mastering the mind and connecting with the soul—not from objects or attainments.

Happiness is feeling good about yourself, having close relationships, making the world a better place.

Purpose and meaning, not success, lead to true contentment.

we can better handle discomfort when we can associate it with a goal, purpose, or person we care about.

To live intentionally, we must dig to the deepest why behind the want.

No external labels or accomplishments can give me true confidence. I have to find it in myself.

“Everything you do in the day from washing to eating breakfast, having meetings, driving to work … watching television or deciding instead to read … everything you do is your spiritual life. It is only a matter of how consciously you do these ordinary things …”

“I wish” is code for “I don’t want to do anything differently.”