Being Heumann: An Unrepentant Memoir of a Disability Rights Activist

by Judith Heumann

The most remarkable thing about our buildingwide meetings wasn’t their length, however, but the culture of listening that developed. No matter how long it took for someone to talk, we listened. Every one of the now one hundred and fifty protesters would listen in a perfect and beautiful silence. When Hale Zukas pointed out one letter at a time on his board with the makeshift pointer stick attached to his head, the room swelled with a gracious quiet. We treasured the ability to create our own space, where our communication needs, and their slower pacing, were respected.

This is amazing!

When someone ignores you, it’s an intentional display of power. They’re essentially acting like you don’t exist, and they do it because they can. They believe that nothing will happen to them. Ignoring silences

people. It intentionally avoids resolution or compromise. It ignites your worst fears of unworthiness because it makes you feel that you deserve to be ignored. Inevitably, being ignored puts you in the position of having to choose between making a fuss or accepting the silent treatment. If you stand up to the ignorer and get in their face, you break the norms of polite behavior and end up feeling worse, diminished, demeaned.