In the Unlikely Event

by L.J. Shen

I don’t get a good look at his penis, purposefully avoiding eye-to-dick contact. Penises freak me out. Especially uncircumcised ones. They look like sweater sleeves curled inwards after a wild ride in the washing machine.

The chocolate bar is inside me. It’s so filthy and crass, I want to spit in his face, but I can’t help but shiver with pleasure, clenching around the thing.

That’s how you get a UTI. That’s not hot. That’s gross.

WTF

That’s the dumbest thing ever. He’s keeping tons of secrets from you and you marry the dude? Ugh I hate these two.

Why is it always purple eyes and can you stop mentioning it?

Good lord. He has purple eyes and she has silver hair. Can you get anymore cliche?

glamor

Misspelled?

The first thing Rory did was throw her dress at me, then she proceeded to bolt up on her feet and chase me naked around the cottage, yelling, “You screwed my boyfriend” really loudly. Mal leaned against a wall, arms crossed, a smirk on his face, watching the entire thing half-naked and fully hard.

This is a weird thing to write. No one would react like this to someone walking in on them having sex.