Butterfly 2

by Ashley Antoinette

aft,

“Grab a stick, let me teach you how to catch your meal, Messiah.”

I had to hunt her because a real woman knows how to evade you.

They know how to maintain some control in their lives.

A queen is gon’ pick the safest kingdom.

You walk real light on his heart even when you got to be the bad guy.

There was no need to be loud when you meant what you said.

The two of you are in denial if you think this is friendship.

You be extremely careful with how you handle this with her. She’s been broken before. Women don’t come back the same and someone’s going to end up hurt.”

It’s not always like this. It’s not fun. It’s responsibility.

She kissed him and Ahmeek loved it. Bitches and their lips. It wasn’t his thing. He and the crew had joked often that you couldn’t trust women. That you never knew where the lips of women had been.

turning

*Tucking

She had been taught that somebody in a relationship always felt pain and she had vowed to never be the one to feel that way again.

I’m not dangerous or gangster or from the streets but I’ll love you right, Mo.”

A legit man would sell the toys for cash, but Messiah was an outlaw.

traipsed

“You got access to everything that matters now. My name and my paper. That’s all I got.”

“Control the mind and the body will follow.”

little

*light*

Size the opposition up from a distance to determine if you’re going to allow access. “Everyone shouldn’t be able to run up on you,”

guttural

subwoofers

Kawasakis.

Meek?”

Ahmeek

swooning

parlay

vied

“You’re

You’re was skipped

tick

*trick

The power she had over him, the way he reacted to her, made her feel like a woman.

The calm he expressed was so out of place for the tense situation

“We

*You

Most women would be intimidated by the threat.

Grand Am.

??

Morgan had almost forgotten what Ahmeek was into. She had forgotten that he was only gentle with her. The rest of the world received a totally different man.

went

*were

Ahmeek steered the bike with

Said twice

I’ll call my people and air all this shit out.

This was skipped.

She had pushed Bash too far.

This was skipped.

the one with the gun didn’t need to shake.

heartbreak made you lose control.

When she was with Ahmeek however, it raced to a beat so fast that it made her breathless.

I think Morgan is confusing her lustful feelings and comfortability with dysfunction as love for Ahmeek. It’s more like she’s turned on by the craziness/recklessness/gangsterness of Ahmeek’s character (despite her protest against his lifestyle) than by having a secure, healthy, comfortable life with Bash. I’m not excusing Bash’s behavior or the way he keeps referring to the twins as “those twins”. Reading/listening to this book makes me really think that SOME Black women are so accustomed to the ghetto, dangerous, materialistic, and rich lifestyle that they don’t know how to live a healthy, safe, and wealthy life of being okay (i.e. constantly okay and stable). No they want that rush of lustful superficial love. I understand that this is a book but did Morgan talk of any type of spiritual/religious/soulful healing after her break up with Messiah? No. She allowed Bash and his family to enter her life and create soul ties that not only didn’t she really want, her own SPIRIT was not ready or healed enough to handle. Morgan is a mother of two, has been in relationships, and continues to fornicate with men other than the one who put a ring on her. Morgan is not a woman of stable mental rationale.

betrothed

Designer everything but no logos,

“You don’t chase no nigga ever. The day you chase a man is the day I end his life. Remember who you are, queen.

Note to self

John Vavartos

There was something about gangsters that went soft for her that did it for Morgan.

Men like him, hood, rough around every edge, normally left scars behind. Instead, he was healing hers.

Morgan doesn’t understand that the healing she needs will only come from her own efforts. Ahmeek is not healing anything but I do understand the temporary comforts he must provide.

“Now about that date,” he said. “A nigga trying to pick you up, take you out, make you smile, do all the basics, flowers, kiss you good night at the end, walk you to your door.

This should have come before the sex/fornication and the involvement with her kids. I think these essentials are what separates boys from men. Morgan talks of knowing Ahmeek; Morgan knows how good he is in bed and vice versa.

Make me work real hard to earn these kisses you been giving me for free.”