“But I can’t just . . . we can’t just . . . adopt the child you’ve been breaking your back to try to adopt. I know from losing Sianeh. It’s specific. It’s personal. Even more so in your case because of your relationship with Terabithia. You know him. He knows you.” I understood why I had to keep talking about this with Coco. Why I had to insist that she consider it. But damn was it painful. Like I was operating on my own organs. “Yes, it is personal. And for a long time, I kept thinking I could rise to the occasion. But this isn’t only about me and what I want. It’s about Shep and what he
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This was one of the most painful parts of the book to write. Dodie's desire to adopt Terabithia isn't just because she wants to be a mother so badly. It's not just because she wants to do something for Sullivan and her parents, who have become close to her. As Coco says, Dodie's love for Terabithia is specific and personal. And so deep. But she wants him to have the best life possible, and she has finally come to realize that she isn't in the place to give that to him, that she still has growing to do, and that the truly unselfish thing to do is to try to help him find a happy forever home. It is in some ways more painful that her sister and brother-in-law can offer that, and one of the reasons she avoids Coco for a while. But I think the pain I felt in writing this part of the book was like going through growing pains with Dodie—I was proud of her, and a little relieved, that she had reached this point. Ironically, Dodie is being her most selfless—a quality that motherhood requires constantly, as I have learned—and showing her maternal side toward Terabithia when she gives up hope of becoming his mother.
