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I’d always been averse to the word no—respectfully, of course. With Tess, it was more of an itch I couldn’t stop scratching. I wanted her to like me. I wanted her to want me. I could count the people who didn’t like me on two hands, and Tess occupied the right hand, index finger. And that was something I decided to rectify.
“Be wild. Because life is lived in the moments you don’t see coming. Not in the comfort of predictability, but in the thrill of the unknown.”
There was nothing in the world like adventure. There was nothing so sweet as discovery. The unknown, the new, only broadened our lives, made us better. Taught us. Made us more than we were.
He had been designed to entice and did so at his leisure. As easily as he lured you in, so easily would you be consumed. And I had no desire to be consumed.
There was comfort in being underestimated. We were constantly set to impress everyone.
Did people really change, or did they only shift, shimmy, slide? And even more troublesome—had he changed, or had I pegged him wrong all along?
“To all that’s old and new,” I said, smiling down at my mother. “May we be immortalized by the deeds we do and the love we give.”
I wanted to build things for her and watch her face light up. I wanted to surprise her, wanted to give her the unexpected. I wanted to discover her, and I wanted to live in every little joy that discovery would bring. But I wanted more than just that. I wanted to be the man she didn’t believe me to be.
I had ideas, sure. But what I didn’t always have was the motivation to follow it through. Tess, I found, was the greatest motivator of all.
“What are we, Luke?” The band on my lungs squeezed tighter. “What do you want us to be, Tess?” “I’m afraid to say.” “Because you think I’ll say no?” “Because you might say yes.”
“I’m not asking you to promise anything. I don’t want anything to change. All I know is when I walk through that door, it’s your face I look for. Every night when we say goodbye, I don’t want to go. And I don’t know what that means besides this: I don’t want to be your fling, Tess.” “Say it again,” she said softly. With a smile, I looked deeper into her eyes. “I don’t want to be your fling. I want to be your everything.”
It’s organized chaos. Kinda like you.”
Don’t sacrifice your future just because you’re afraid. Sacrifice your fear for hope.”
“And trusting someone else is dangerous. Because the more I love, the more chances I have to get hurt. The more I open up, the more helpless I am. Why am I not allowed to protect myself against that?” “Because you’re not protecting yourself—you’re running away. And those are two very different things.”
“Uncertainty is part of life. You can’t plan for it. You can’t brace yourself.
“You told me nothing matters, not as long as we have each other, and you were right. Losing you would leave a wound that would never heal. Nothing matters, not as long as I have you.”
Forever used to feel like a cage, a trap, but then you taught me that forever is an adventure, and I want to spend every minute of it with you.”
