The Mysterious and Amazing Blue Billings (Black and Blue #1)

by Lily Morton

I trust my judgement. My mum always told me that. Trust what your head and heart say if they speak together. Ignore society and other people’s opinions and do what you know to be right.

I expect him to laugh but instead he nods earnestly. “Yes. Come and stay with me. I know it’s spooky and the ghosts are probably homicidal, but at least you’ll be able to lie in a bed and have a bath before they gruesomely murder you in your sleep.”

The past is what we do to get to where we are.”

I look anxiously at the old man and he shrugs. “I’m old. Waiting for the government is preferable to waiting for death.” He pauses. “Or at the least, it’s remarkably similar.”

“Giving you a hug,” he says seriously. “It’s medically advised.”

“When did you get so wise?” I ask. He gives that impish grin. “Always. Everyone should know this but for some reason

sobers. “I wanted you to see it because I think this is what grief is really like. After we lose someone, we’re like this window. We’re broken in pieces. Eventually we put ourselves back together, but it’s never the same as the original us. Instead, we’re a jumbled-up version with funny angles and new faces to show the world.” He turns to face the window. “Still beautiful and still whole. But just in a new way. Even if we’re a griffin with chicken legs.”

“I know one of the nurses,” he whispers, answering my earlier question. “He says if I’m quiet and stay out of the way, he’ll pretend that he can’t see me.” “If you know the nurse, he must surely have an inkling that it’s impossible for you to be quiet and stay out of the way,” I mutter.

“It’s bound to hurt,” he mutters. “You’ve broken your arm.” “Why is the cast pink?” “To remind you to look after yourself. I chose a bright colour because sometimes you don’t seem so bright.”

I give it a careless look. “I’ll have a burger and a chocolate milkshake if they can make one.” He shakes his head smilingly. “What?” I ask. “You’re such a child.” “No, I’m all man,” I tell him seriously. “I know this because I pay a gas bill.” “I must be Peter Pan then in this equation,” he says wryly. “Because I’ve never paid one of those in my life.” “You’re more like Nana,” I tell him. “Looking after people so well.” He shakes his head. “You just compared me to a dog, Levi. Don’t ever rely on your charm to pick up men. Work on your tactics instead.”

“He knows that. People argue. Rows go with love like toast and marmalade and scones and jam. Words said in the heat of the moment aren’t what we take with us when we die. Only the love remains out of everything.”

He shakes his head. “There’s no such thing as not fair in sex, Blue. It isn’t about keeping score and it certainly isn’t something you have to do to make me happy. I’m happy with you anyway.”

“He’s saying you’re acting like a prat and to shut the hell up,” I say curtly. “He just used a lot more useless words in the middle than I did.”

“Okay now, Blue? Or do you have some ironing to do?” I pinch him. “Facing possible death is not the time for sarcasm.”

“It frightens me a bit how much I feel,” he whispers. “I never wanted to love anyone, and I’m pretty positive I’m going to be shit at it.” I smile and tighten my grip. “It doesn’t matter. As long as we treat each other right, there’s room for error.”