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“Changing it up, guys. Let’s open with ‘He’s Mine.’” Benji looked confused for a second, but then he glanced out at the crowd and back to me. “Bloody hell, is the guy here?” “The guy is here.”
That shit was everywhere. I refrained most times, only dabbling here and there. I refused to become the clichéd rock star addicted to coke before he’d even become famous. I was going to wait until I could afford rehab to need it. Hashtag life goals.
“Who’s Roman Josi?” Soren grinned. “He plays for Tennessee. We get mixed up all the time because we apparently look alike. I don’t see it.” “You just sign someone else’s name?” “Nah, I wrote ‘I’m not Roman Josi’ and then signed my name and team underneath it.” “Brilliant.” I took out my phone.
“We should go dancing,” I said as we hit the warm Tampa air. “Or we could go coffeeing.” “Compromise. Dancing then coffee.” Soren groaned. “Come on, old man. Not up for it?” “Don’t call me old man.” “Big Daddy?” “Fuck no.” “Roman Josi …” Soren shoved me, and I laughed.
“You’re perfect, Jet.” Right. That was why he was rejecting me. “Yeah. Perfect for someone else. Got it.”
I don’t like the thought of him with someone else even though it was never an option to be with me. Hello, selfish asshole.
Jet snorts. “No shit. Soren’s practically glowing.” Here we go. “Aww, maybe he’s pregnant,” Noah says. Maddox cuts in. “Now, we know that’s impossible, guys. Come on, don’t be silly ...” I’m about to thank him, when he continues. “You have to have sex to get pregnant.” Hosers. All of them.
Noah says. “Speaking of babies ...” “You are one,” Damon says. “Not at all an announcement.” Noah flips him off. “There’s a pregnant girl in Indiana who chose us to adopt her baby,” Matt says.
I’m not usually a naïve kid, but when it comes to him, I’m ridiculously and hopelessly idealistic.
I’ve seen what self-medicating does on the road, and I still have no desire to join that club even if I can afford my own rehab now.
Ollie scoffs. “I was actually talking to you because Lennon did you a favor back there.” “A favor? How is telling my brothers I’m going through a breakup a favor?” “Because it’s better than telling them you and Soren have been making eyes at each other all night,” Ollie says. Soren stiffens. “Oh, shit.” Lennon looks smug. “You guys are playing with fire.” “Yeah, well, I light fires to feel joy.” I try to not let it show how them knowing about us affects me. “Tell us the truth,” Ollie says. “You guys hooked up years ago, didn’t you?” My façade drops. “H-how …” “How did you know?” Soren asks.
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“He’s not a kid.” Ollie bursts into laughter. “That’s what you’ve been calling him for years. I knew it was too emphatic.” “You’re having way too much fun with this.” “You’re two of my best friends. It’d be cool. I mean, I will miss you when Matt and Noah hire a hitman to take you out, but until then, it’ll be good for both of you.”
“As much as I’d love to see how this Lord of the Flies reenactment would work out, the island’s not that far, and we have GPS.” He holds up a small, bright yellow device attached to the jet ski. “There should be no need to resort to cannibalism.” “Lord of the what?” I ask. Damon groans. “I take it back. I vote we kill off anyone who doesn’t understand that reference.” Everyone agrees. “What happened to no need to resort to cannibalism?” I exclaim. “Dire straits,” Damon says.
“Everything okay?” Ollie asks. “Engine stalled,” Soren says casually. Lennon doesn’t buy it, probably because he’s searching my heated face for the lie in Soren’s words. Then he glances down. “You must’ve pulled your key out.” I lift the bit of plastic attached to my life jacket. “Oh. Yeah. Must’ve. Dunno how that happened.” I put it back in and hit the button to turn the jet ski back on. “Look at that. It works again,” Soren says. Ollie’s lips twitch up in amusement. “Word of advice, if you guys don’t want anyone to know there’s something between you two, you might want to learn to lie
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“And are you assuming I wouldn’t be into Jet, or are you asking me not to be?” I hold my breath. Matt cocks his head. “Are you into Jet? You’re … like … old.” “First, fuck you. And second, fuck you.”
Jet has a crush. A crush. Like I’m fourteen years old. I’d argue something about maturity, but hey, I’m crawling out from underneath the bed of the guy I’m fucking without my big brother knowing.
“Well, you are the hottest guy I’ve ever met in real life. Which is amazing because, you know, I’ve met real celebrities.” Soren looks at me incredulously. “I’m sorry, what? I can’t have heard that correctly. I swear you said I’m not a real celebrity.” “Who’s been recognized since we’ve been here?” “We’re in Fiji. Once we’re home, you’ll see how much I’m recognized.” “Okay, Roman Josi.” “Hey, I’m not Roman in New Jersey.” “Ooh, New Jersey. Score.”
“Okay. But you have to understand that I have an NDA in place, so there are things I can’t tell you.” He purses his lips. “Like who he really is? Some backstage crew member wouldn’t have you sign an NDA. Is he one of the guys from Eleven?” “I can’t—” “It’s Harley.” Oh, shit. “What the—how did you—” “His real name is Harry.” “How … and …” Soren chuckles.
“Hey, cum is totally full of protein.” A loud crashing sound comes from the kitchen. “I reckon she heard me,” Jet says.
“You guys were going to fuck in the pool, weren’t you?” Ollie asks. “Eww. I refuse to swim in jizz,” Lennon says. Jet squeezes his eyes shut and mutters to himself. “It’s too easy a shot. Do not take it.” Lennon throws his towel at Jet, smacking him in the face.
“Is this all you two are gonna do all day?” Ollie asks when Jet and I come up for air. Jet wraps himself around me. “Nah. Seeing as we’re not allowed to fuck in here, I reckon we’ll be leaving soon.” “Really soon,” I agree. Ollie smiles this time. “What?” I ask him. “Nothing, man. You look happy.”
“Why are you so smug?” Jet asks. “You got beat by an old man.” “Hey,” I protest. “He got beaten by the better player, thank you very much.” “Sure thing, Big Daddy,” Maddox says. “No. That is not becoming a thing.” “Would you rather still be called Canada?” Maddox asks. Jet gasps. “Canadian Big Daddy.”
“We kinda, sorta, might’ve, maybe hooked up three years ago and never told you guys,” Jet says. “And now we have this second chance, so we’re taking it.”
“Three years …” Matt says. “Three years and neither of you thought to say anything? Didn’t think to say anything the other morning when I went to you and said, hey, Jet has a thing for you?” Jet glares at his brother. “Oh, thanks for that by the way. There’s nothing like big bro telling someone you’re sleeping with that you’ve got a ‘crush.’” “You told him?” Matt booms at me. “I was there,” Jet yells back. “Awkward,” Maddox sings.
“And now you’re together?” Noah asks. “Well, no, but we’re … dating?” Jet says and looks up at me. It’s not how I’d describe it, but it’s not like serious boyfriend fits either. “I guess that’s the closest description.” “They’re so fucking,” Maddox says. Damon puts a hand across his boyfriend’s mouth. Thank God. “Stop trying to get the man killed.”
“JJ …” There was a reason I didn’t let the label make my new name JJ. It’s what my brother calls me. Matt was my protector growing up. He fed us, looked after us, and I know it’s natural for him to worry about me. “Matt, I’ll be fine. Soren won’t hurt me.” He can’t. He promised.
This is the reason I’m so drawn to Soren. He’s what a partner should be. There’s a difference between being there with someone and being there for someone. Soren came on this tour for me and no other reason.
“I don’t think that’s helping, Jet,” Soren says in my ear. “What, you want to help him?” I ask incredulously. “Does he look like someone who’s doing this to spite you? Or to piss you off? He’s clearly hurting.” Harley whines. “Damn it. Why’d your boyfriend have to be nice?” “He’s Canadian. He can’t help it.” “Sorry.” Soren shrugs. “God, he’s apologizing even though I’m in your room all drunk-like and complaining. He really is Canadian.”
“He seems lost. I was kinda hoping your ex would be a dick. So much easier to hate them when they’re assholes.” “You heard from yours at all?” “Oh, yeah. He says my midlife crisis looks desperate and sad. He also had a lot to say about my gallivanting all over the country with the rock star I was unhealthily obsessed with during our relationship to the point he suspected something was going on even though I promised that I just liked your music.” “Oops?” Soren laughs.
Their connection is obvious, and it’s no wonder they couldn’t keep their relationship a secret from people on the crew. Part of me even feels guilty for coming between them, but at the same time, whenever Harley’s been around, I’ve wanted to grab Jet and growl “mine” until Harley backs off. My want for Jet outweighs the guilt by a thousand.
He leans in. “What?” I shouldn’t repeat it, but I can’t help myself. “I don’t want you to leave.” “I don’t want to go. But—” “You have to. I know.” “We’ll talk about this later tonight, okay? You need to get back out there.” I turn to go, but he grabs my arm. “Please make the rest of the set count? I want to remember this show for being the best you’ve ever played.” Every part of me wants to break down instead of going out there to put on a good show, but I’d do anything to give Soren everything he wants.
“Is that welcome punishment enough for being the last one to practice?” Coach Wexler shakes his head. “Aww, that’s even cuter. Go. Suicides now. Let’s see how living the life of a rock star has weakened you.” Motherfucker.
Another fan approaches so I open my mouth wide like a clown and give Luce a thumbs-up. He tries to keep a stoic and stern face because, let’s face it, dealing with me is like dealing with a toddler. If you laugh at my antics, I will never respect you again. His lips quirk, and I know I have him.
“It doesn’t matter. I’m fine. You … you flew here? From DC?” “Had the band’s plane take me. What happened at the game?” “I’m old. That’s what happened in the game.” I step forward and pull Jet against me, cupping his jaw and lowering my forehead to his. “You said you love me.” “I also called you a hoser.”
“Bed,” I rasp. “Because of your grandpa knees?” “Fuck you.”
“I know what it means. Geez. It’s just, someone from Gen X saying it is weird.” “Hey, fuck you. I’m a millennial.” I side-eye him. “I swear. I’m not that old.”
Someone rushes into the room, startling us. Maddox stands there, panting. “Noah and Matt are about to be parents. The world is fucking ending.” Damon strolls in behind him, calm as ever. “Was that really necessary?” Maddox loses the panic. “Yeah. It was fun.”
“I know I’ve been sucking.” He holds up his hand. “Don’t want to know what you and Jet get up to—” “Dude—” “Sorry. I spend way too much time with Maddox. But yeah, your preseason game is struggling.
“You might think our love was confusing, but I know that wasn’t the case for me,” Harley says. “The label can go fuck themselves for taking you away from me.” I want to argue that we would have ended eventually anyway because I definitely would have run into Soren at some point, and from the moment I met him three years ago, I’ve never been able to fight the pull he has on me. We’re meant to be, and there’s no doubt in my mind. I don’t want to belittle what Harley and I had because he got me through some rough times on the road and through doubts about my career.
“Things have worked out the way they were supposed to. One day you’ll see that.” “I see it now,” Harley says quietly. “I don’t like it. But I see it.” He walks toward the door where Marty and Luce are practically pushed up against it, but he turns back at the last second. “Oh, by the way, after our song’s recorded, I’m kicking you out of this studio.” “W-what?” “I own it. I bought it when Ryder started hinting about leaving Eleven. I’m also blackballing you from every other recording studio in town. Eleven and Radioactive’s feud is all over the news, you know.” I’m confused as fuck. “What in
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“Record this song with me and go home to your man, Jay.” “Harley,” I croak. He holds up his hand. “Don’t. I’m doing a good job of being the bigger person right now, and I don’t want to blow it by taking it all back and begging you to pick me. We both know you won’t. I’ll get over you eventually. Just … make sure the hockey player is worth it, okay?” I don’t say anything because I don’t want to rub it in that I already know Soren is worth it. He’s everything to me.
“Hi,” I say. Jet lets out a little laugh. “Hey.” “You’re here. Like, here, here.” “Great power of observation you got there.” “Thanks. Hockey players are known for their smarts.”
I laugh. “Jet, you’re everything. You’re my Stanley Cup.” Jet smiles. “I guess that makes you my Grammy? I don’t really know what metaphor we’re going for here.” I hold him close. “I’ll put it the easiest way I know how to say it. You’re the most important thing in my life and being with you forever is my only goal.” Jet’s eyes get shiny. “I want to help you achieve that goal.” “Then we’ll do it.” I seal our promise with another public display of affection that I’m sure is being photographed by the media. Welcome to the rest of our lives.
“It’s all we want. Our closest friends.” I glance at Ollie and Lennon. “Our chosen family.” I turn to Damon, Maddox, Talon, and Miller. And then I turn to Matt, Noah, and Wade. “And my brothers.” Soren clears his throat. “Oh, and his family too, but I’ve met them, like, once, so that’s more for him.” I pat Soren’s chest.
“I now pronounce you husbands,” the judge says. When we kiss, I can hear my mother blubbering and can’t help but laugh into Jet’s mouth. “First kiss as a married couple, and you’re laughing? That doesn’t bode well.” “I’m sorry, but my mother is ridiculous.” “First kiss as a married couple, and you’re thinking of your mother? That’s even worse.” Our small group snickers.
