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Chaos is the only thing that makes me stop and stare. It’s a pause button to my brain.
I learnt silence before I learnt talking. Silence gives you room to think, to plot. Talking only gets you in trouble.
I grin. “I want to be your first.” “My first in what?” My thumb wipes the moisture under her eyes. “In everything, Butterfly.” “Then I want your firsts, too.” She juts her chin. “Promise me.” “Promise.”
“Hate me all you want, but keep our promise. All your firsts are mine.”
I’ve always thought sleep is a waste of time. Why sleep when you can read?
Sick. Maybe. Probably.
And part of my sickness is her. My Butterfly. My chaos.
“Happy birthday, Butterfly,” he whispers against my ear. “You’re now mine.”
“Eyes. Off,” he orders. There. The reaction I needed. “Relax. I was only saying she’s good.” “Don’t say she’s good, don’t even watch her being good, speak to her, or about her. Deal? Deal.”
We’re under the same roof. My chaos and I.
“Silver.” Cole slaps my cheek. “Fuck, Silver?” “Told you she was fainting,” Aiden says. “I know you’re giddy, but did you lose the Stop button?”
“I don’t have to touch you to know you’re turned on. I can smell you.”
I wrap my hand around her nape and take claim of her lips. I kiss her in gratefulness. I consume her as my form of thanks. Silver wrenched me from the water, not only now, but also ten years ago. My chaos. My damnation.
“If it were up to me, you’d be fucking mine in front of the entire world, and yes, I would be planning to put a football team worth of babies inside you so you’d always be glued to my side. But you constantly think about your parents and your image and everyone else’s fucking opinion, so it’s you who won’t let anything happen. Not me.”
“Well, here’s the thing, Butterfly.” He leans over and brushes his lips against my nose. “I don’t mind self-destructing if it’s with you.”
We’re kinky, we’re dorks, we’re nerds.
