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Chaos is the only thing that makes me stop and stare. It’s a pause button to my brain.
I learnt silence before I learnt talking. Silence gives you room to think, to plot. Talking only gets you in trouble.
“Why are you calling me that?” “What?” “Butterfly.” “You have one on your hair.” I motion at her dress’s waist. “And on your clothes. Do you want to fly like one?” “I do.” Her expression brightens. “Why?” “Because, you know, they’re so beautiful and everyone smiles when they see them. They bring happiness and light.”
“I want to be your first.” “My first in what?” My thumb wipes the moisture under her eyes. “In everything, Butterfly.” “Then I want your firsts, too.” She juts her chin. “Promise me.” “Promise.”
“Hate me all you want, but keep our promise. All your firsts are mine.”
It’s not only her lips that I haven’t been able to stop staring at. It’s her. All of her.
I’ve always thought sleep is a waste of time. Why sleep when you can read?
Reading is one of my defence mechanisms to not get caught up in the world.
“You’re a bastard.” “If you keep complimenting me this often, I’ll think you have a fixation on me.”
Sick. Maybe. Probably. And part of my sickness is her. My Butterfly. My chaos.
“Do you get this wet for him, too?” he whispers the dark words against my lips. “Do you soak his hand like you soak mine?”
Now I want to keep tasting lime until I can’t. Until lime becomes the most forbidden taste on earth.
“Happy birthday, Butterfly,” he whispers against my ear. “You’re now mine.”
Aiden is my fiancé. Fuck that. If she thinks I’ll let her hang on to his arm after I claimed her, then she must not know me at all.
“Because she’s mine now.” My throat closes around the word. Mine. How long have I waited to say that out loud? Years. Fucking years.
I told her he has a condition, you know, like a dick condition. She thinks he can’t get it up. I only meant that he’s a dickhead, but hey, as long as it worked, I’m not complaining.
LOL
He stares down at me with those eyes that I sometimes think have no soul behind them. They’re green, but they feel black. They’re looking at me, but sometimes, it’s like they’re seeing through me.
“No one will see you like I do, touch you like I do, fuck you like I do.”
“Here’s the thing, Butterfly, I can’t stop.” “Why not?” “Because you’re my chaos, and I can’t survive without chaos.”
“I hate you,” I tell him. He smiles as his lips brush against my temple and stay there. “Not as much as you want me, Butterfly.”
that’s the thing about Silver, it’s clear that I have no brakes when it comes to her.
If hickeys are what she wants, I’ll bathe her body with them until the entire fucking world knows she’s taken.
“Are you a pervert?” He places a kiss on my nose, his voice teasing. “I’ve always been a pervert for you, Butterfly. It’s not my fault you’re only just figuring it out.”
“Is there anything you don’t think through?” “You.” He dives beside me under the covers and holds me close to him. His chestnut strands fall haphazardly across his head. “M-me?” “You’re the only thing I’ve never been able to think through.”
Silver is the beauty and the ugliness. The calm and the chaos.
If he’s sick and I secretly love the devious ways he takes me, what does that make me?
“I don’t read from e-books.” He stares at my phone with distaste as if he wouldn’t touch it with a long stick. “Stop being a paperback snob. Besides, the Kindle app has all your books in one place. You don’t have to carry a few tons with you whenever you want to go somewhere.”
“Why couldn’t you do it with others?” Her voice is low, emotional. “They weren’t you, Butterfly. No one is you.”
do you think I have the energy to focus on anyone but you? You drive me fucking crazy.”
It’s ironic that I’ve only ever punched two people due to anger — Aiden and Adam. Both times were because of Silver.
She’s so beautiful, it’s fucking me up. And it’s not only her external beauty, it’s everything about her, from her insecurities to her affectionate and responsible side. It’s just her.
“If it were up to me, you’d be fucking mine in front of the entire world, and yes, I would be planning to put a football team worth of babies inside you so you’d always be glued to my side.
“Well, here’s the thing, Butterfly.” He leans over and brushes his lips against my nose. “I don’t mind self-destructing if it’s with you.”
“Dick,” I mutter. “What was that, Butterfly?” “Come on, answer me.” “You had better chances of getting an answer before reducing me to my dick. I know you love it, but, well, it doesn’t work in such situations,”
“What do you want from me? Just leave me alone.” “I can’t.” “Why not?” “Because you’re in pain. I hate it when you’re in pain, Butterfly.”
Your pain is my pain, Butterfly.
I’ve always wanted to see that spark you get in your eyes when you win.”
“You’re sick,” I tell him. “You love it.”
“S-someone will see,” I breathe out even as my legs wrap around his waist the moment he yanks his trousers down. “They won’t.” “What if they do?” “What if they do, Silver? What if they fucking do?” He thrusts inside me in one long go that tears a moan out of my throat. “That won’t change the fact that I fuck you and sleep with you every night. It doesn’t change the fact that you’re mine.”
“Because I love you, Cole. I’ve been in love with you since you found me in the park that day and pulled my hair and told me you wanted my firsts. I’ve loved you more through the years, and I hated every time I had to face the reality that I couldn’t be with you.”
Our baby girl, Ava, was born a day ago. Silver and I haven’t been able to stop staring at her.
“Daddy.” Eli tugs on Aiden’s trousers, awe filling his features. “She’s so pretty.”
