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Chaos is the only thing that makes me stop and stare. It’s a pause button to my brain.
I learnt silence before I learnt talking. Silence gives you room to think, to plot. Talking only gets you in trouble.
“I want to be your first.” “My first in what?” My thumb wipes the moisture under her eyes. “In everything, Butterfly.” “Then I want your firsts, too.” She juts her chin. “Promise me.” “Promise.”
“Hate me all you want, but keep our promise. All your firsts are mine.”
She’ll go out of her way to snitch to the principal on anyone who bullies Kimberly, but she won’t talk to her.
I’ve always thought sleep is a waste of time. Why sleep when you can read?
Sick. Maybe. Probably. And part of my sickness is her. My Butterfly. My chaos.
“Happy birthday, Butterfly,” he whispers against my ear. “You’re now mine.”
“Because she’s mine now.” My throat closes around the word. Mine. How long have I waited to say that out loud? Years. Fucking years.
“Here’s the thing, Butterfly, I can’t stop.” “Why not?” “Because you’re my chaos, and I can’t survive without chaos.”
“The worst of all. The most beautiful of all. And you know what? You might as well be the deadliest.”
“Merde!” Ronan’s face falls. “Does this mean we can’t see your tits anymore?” “Don’t mention them again or life as you know it will be over, Astor.” Cole’s face and voice remain calm, but the menace is clear in his eyes. “You too, Knight.” “I knew you were
Come back early tomorrow. I miss you, Butterfly.
You made me obsessed with you to the point I can’t fucking breathe until I see you.”
He retrieves a Snickers bar and my eyes double in size. I snatch it away and eat almost half of it in one go. I don’t even think about the calories in the big bar. I usually eat small ones, and only occasionally or when I’m feeling really down. “No one will take it away, Silver. Eat slowly.” I face away from him to finish it. What if he changes his mind? “Damn. You’re really not you when you’re hungry.” I throw him a dirty look over my shoulder, still chewing on my bar.
“This is a sex scene, Butterfly.” “So?” He raises a brow. “You want me to read sex to you?” I nod, wrapping the towel tighter around me. “Why read it when I can perform it? I can even do a lot better than what’s written here.”
I’m Silver Queens. I don’t take other people’s sloppy seconds.” “You never did.” She blinks up at me through the frustrated tears forming in her eyes. “W-what?” “That time at the wedding was my first, too.”
“Why couldn’t you do it with others?” Her voice is low, emotional. “They weren’t you, Butterfly. No one is you.”
“Aiden lies when it fits him. Besides –” I brush my lips over the hollow of the tender skin of her throat “– do you think I have the energy to focus on anyone but you? You drive me fucking crazy.”
“You’re a bastard and I hate you most of the time.” “Most of the time? Does that mean there are times you don’t hate me?” “Maybe.” “Maybe is good enough.”
“Well, here’s the thing, Butterfly.” He leans over and brushes his lips against my nose. “I don’t mind self-destructing if it’s with you.”
“W-what if it doesn’t?” she speaks through her hiccoughs. “What if I always feel this…this loss.” “Then we’ll feel it together.” She peeks up at me with her tear-streaked face and bloodshot eyes. “What do you mean?” “I told you, you’re not the only one responsible for this. Your pain is my pain, Butterfly.”
remain in place, swallowing at the intense way he’s examining my tattoo. It’s a butterfly. And not just any butterfly. Cole sketched something that’s identical to the butterfly pin I wore that day ten years ago in the park.
Fucking adorable
I might be his chaos, but he’s also mine. My chaos and my safety.
“What are you doing?” he asks without hugging me back. “You told me to go home. You’re my home, Cole.”
“Because I love you, Cole. I’ve been in love with you since you found me in the park that day and pulled my hair and told me you wanted my firsts. I’ve loved you more through the years, and I hated every time I had to face the reality that I couldn’t be with you.”
“I love you, Cole.” I sigh. “Does that mean you’re mine now?” “I always have been.”
“Oh, Cole.” I spin around and face him. “Of course, I’ll marry you. You’re the only one for me.” “The only one, huh?” “The only one.” “And you’re the only one for me, Butterfly.”
Currently, she’s in the hospital, carrying the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen. Our baby girl, Ava, was born a day ago. Silver and I haven’t been able to stop staring at her.
