A Brief History of Everyone Who Ever Lived: The Human Story Retold Through Our Genes

by Adam Rutherford

in its mitochondria, tiny powerhouses

I appreciate that this is now mandatory

Everything in this book from here on in will be Homo.

Yes homo

and the unexcitingly named Alans.

until 1066, when Harald Hardrada got an arrow in his throat at the Battle of Stamford Bridge. Harold Godwinson took the English reins for a short spell, until he got an arrow in his eye

I used to be an adventurer like you

absolute Cnuts

what you did there i see it

You are descended from Vikings, because everyone is.

For the physical characteristics, they are kind of interesting, in an instantly forgettable way. In my 23andMe readout, it confidently says that my eyes are “likely brown” due to the presence of an A in one version of a gene called HERC2, and a G in the other. An A and an A would make me more likely to have brown eyes, and two Gs would make me lean heavily toward being a blue- or green-eyed man. I do have brown eyes, something that I had established a few years ago, with the less exciting technology of a mirror.

People are horny. Lives are complex.

Getting this tattooed on my chest

“It is well recognized” is one of those phrases that make me a bit twitchy. When I read that in a scientific journal, in my head I translate it to “we couldn’t find a reference for this”:

Malcolm Gladwell's whole career? What are you doing here?

We look to statistics for reassurance in these types of case. Here is one: 100 percent of mass shootings have been enabled by access to guns. I can guarantee that even if there were a genotype shared by the mass shooters, which there will not be, none of the killings would have happened if they didn’t have guns.

These are known as hypervariable regions.

Okay smartass