Monsters (Prodigium Academy, #1)

by Katie May

With a speed that defies logic, I race towards my attacker. And promptly trip over an orange construction cone in the street.

Okay, so I don’t really understand a lot of what’s going on in my life. I’m sort of like a video game character being controlled by a child. I trip over air, accidentally kill the good guy, and genuinely look like a complete fucking idiot.

Note to self: don’t ever, not ever, trust a man. Instead, cut up their bodies and bathe in their blood.

“Hello, little miss. Correct me if I’m wrong, but are you having a shitty day?” When she stares at me blankly, mouth agape, I continue, “Then you need the new and improved Mason Medusa. Satisfaction guaranteed. If he breaks, or if he doesn’t perform to your standards, feel free to return him to get a full refund. And if you act fast, I’ll throw in a Frankie as well.”

Does he expect me to give him a blowjob or something? Fuck. I hate peopleing.

Suck dicks. Don’t be one.

“My mate goes into detention to be sacrificially slaughtered and leaves as the best friend of the monsters who were supposed to kill her,” Mason mutters, too low for anyone but me to hear. “Just fucking great.” Great. That’s the beginning to a twisted joke. A vampire, the Boogeyman, and Cupid walk into detention together… The Breakfast Club: Monster Edition.