A Beastly Kind of Earl (Longhope Abbey, #1)

by Mia Vincy

Indeed, an earl would make quite a useful pet, but all things considered, she’d rather have a cat.

“If Lord Luxborough is a were-jaguar, then I do hope he is house-trained. I should not like him scratching the furniture and making a mess in corners.” “If you please!” Thea protested. “A jaguar is far too noble a beast to do anything so vulgar as that.” “You speak with great authority, considering you do not even know what a jaguar is.” Thea sniffed haughtily. “I do not need to be an expert to share my expertise.”

“If I could turn into any animal at all, I would be a cat,” she announced. “An ordinary house cat?” Arabella sounded appalled by the idea. “There is nothing ordinary about a house cat.

“And don’t go near Lord Luxborough. He might think you are a mouse and pounce.” “He might rub up against me and purr.” Arabella’s eyebrows shot up and Thea considered her statement. “That didn’t come out quite as I intended,” she said.

“Sorry. I forgot.” “Forgot? I told you barely a minute ago.” “It was a very crowded minute.”

After all, he is planning to slit your throat and throw your body down a well.” “No, he isn’t,” Arabella said patiently. “You made that part up.” Thea sniffed. “Just because I made it up doesn’t mean it’s not true.”

“They don’t teach charm at earl school either, do they?” Thea said with some asperity.

“Forget fire and brimstone. Hell is eternity stuck in a stuffy, smoky tavern full of loud Englishmen determined to enjoy themselves, despite having nothing but bland stew, warm ale, and each other.”

Thea risked a glance at the earl, who was looking murderous. Everything was fine there, then.

“It’s marriage, my boy. No one’s good at it. That’s what makes it so much fun.”

“Do you know why men marry women?” he asked. “Because they’re not allowed to marry their horses?”

“Honestly, Luxborough. How do you manage to stay so grumpy when you live in such a beautiful place?”

And you don’t even like people.” “I like them well enough. In theory.”