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‘Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.’ – Howard Thurman
Just because nearly everyone has lost their sparkle and it seems ‘normal’ doesn’t make it right. You still crave it. Deep down when it is really quiet, if you let yourself, you can hear the whispers that tell you that life doesn’t have to be this way.
It was a dandelion clock: the spherical seed head of dandelion that you can blow on so the white, fluffy ‘parachutes’ float away. She took a big breath and blew. Simple delight was evident in her face as she watched the dandelion seeds glide away.
And if you suspect your issues may be coming from a more serious cause—perhaps an undiagnosed mental or physical illness—I don’t want to diminish the seriousness of your situation. Please seek appropriate professional advice.
nebulous,
We had sparkle as children, but as time wore on, we grew up, became more serious and were heaped with a bunch of responsibilities. Our sparkle faded away.
It’s easy to think these traits are a childhood indulgence, not appropriate for adults to focus on. But deep down we know that these intangible qualities are what makes life worth living. Concentrate on the simple sparkle suggestions first and watch as they unlock all the other ‘childlike’ attributes that we long for.
The very fortunate get to attain some happiness in their work, but if this is not the case then we can notice what makes us happy and lean into that. It may not be reading novels, but you will have something you currently think of as an indulgence, something you think of as a bit frivolous, maybe even selfish. Do that thing. Do it today.
Maybe I cannot lose myself in a novel on a rainy Sunday afternoon for hours at a time like I did when I was younger. But I can still go to bed a half hour earlier or read a book on my phone in five-minute increments while waiting in line.
Are you busy being busy without adding value into your life? Our culture celebrates busyness! Don’t confuse this with living a fulfilling life.
Every single human on the planet has a negativity bias. Due to our need for survival in prehistoric times we had to be on alert for anything that may harm or kill us. We are on constant alert for attack or lack. Our conditioning means that we are more likely to notice the negative than the positive. This is our default position, so we have to train our minds to notice and accept the joy that is prevalent in the world.
Yes, rediscovering your sparkle means showing up, embracing your weird self and being enthusiastic about life, even if others judge you.
Rediscovering your sparkle is about desiring, not about deserving.
I simply want to rediscover my sparkle so if my daughter shows me a dandelion clock again, I will stop and appreciate it.
Rediscovering your sparkle doesn’t mean that you will suddenly deny all the horror and hurt in the world. It means tapping into all of your emotions – both ‘good’ and ‘bad’. It is boldly seeing all the trauma and suffering yet not letting it suck you in and consume you as well.
Please, please, please, do things that make your heart sing, things that light you up. Do them even if you still believe these objections. Do them because you read a book today that told you to.
Let’s get this straight right now: you are responsible for your life; you create your life. Not the latest political scandal, not your current family drama, not a nuclear threat. You. If you are just going through the motions in life controlled by fear, then it is up to you to find a way to change. Don’t let the story you tell yourself stop you from being truly happy and fulfilled.
practice stepping out of your comfort zone with some neutral tasks. This will help train your brain to not default to its usual, mostly negative patterns.
‘Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.’ – Mae West
My children remind me on a daily basis to live life to the fullest. I may be the one imparting knowledge but they divulge the real wisdom.
As adults, we don’t do this. We don’t savor. We almost never ‘stop and smell the roses’, and so miss out on the awe and delight that savoring can invoke. Children remind us that the world around us is full of wonder and I, for one, want to make sure I remember that.
We are ‘shoulding’ all over ourselves!
We are constantly distracted by our phones, rushed by our hectic schedules, future focused and want to ‘save time’. These are cultural constructs that we don’t have to buy into. Saving time, for instance. What does that even mean? What do we ‘save’ it for? Instead of saving time we need to savor. Savor not save.
It was hard enough a few years back to stay focused, but now, as Jen Sincero says in You are a Badass, we are so distracted it is a wonder we still speak in full sentences. This may seem obvious but in order to start savoring our real life, we must reduce our – mostly digital – distractions.
Bonus tip: wear a watch. When I wear a watch I am not pulling my phone out to look at the time and then swiping to check something.
‘Life must be lived as play.’ – Plato
Even though researchers such as Dr. Stuart Brown from the National Institute of Play argue that we have a biologically programmed need for play and have listed its benefits from fostering empathy to triggering our creativity, we tell ourselves that playing is not as important as our mile-long to do list.
Hoehn points out in his fabulous book, Play it Away that if you dedicate 30 minutes
Dr. Stuart Brown argues that the opposite of play is not work but depression.
Here are a few ways to say no politely: “Sounds wonderful, but that is not part of my work focus right now.” “Sorry but my current commitments mean I cannot take that on.” “It sounds amazing but I wouldn’t be able to give that the attention it deserves.” “I can’t help you right now but I can schedule it after X date.” “Sorry it is not my policy to do X.” (People respect policies, even ones you have made up yourself!)
Play can simply be thought of in terms of what you absolutely love to do: activities that bring you joy and things that are fun for you
Listen to and dance to music I love Read a great novel or interesting non-fiction book (including audio books) Chat with like-minded people about personal development, writing or books Go to a film, concert, festival or comedy show Walk in nature when it is fine and sunny e.g.: forest or beach Eat out at a nice restaurant (once in a while, not all the time) Visit a book store and have a good long browse Bake yummy treats with my kids Short, fun trips away with family or friends Fun games like disc golf, mini-golf and casual games of table tennis Playing Pacman on an old-fashioned arcade
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craft activities and scrapbooking, playing a musical instrument, painting or sculpting, hanging out with your favorite pets, team sports or playing catch in the park.
care should be taken with the start and end of things, with take offs and landings, and thanking your bed is a good way to ‘take off’.
‘The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more.’ – Wilson Mizener
As inspirational speaker and trainer, Alexander Den Heijer says: “You often feel tired, not because you've done too much, but because you've done too little of what sparks a light
If you don’t take anything else from this book, promise me that you will relearn how to breathe right.
‘No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.’ – Aesop
Look them in the eye and act interested.
Practice active listening by not finishing sentences, not changing the subject back to yourself and asking at least two follow up questions or saying “tell me more”
‘Life is too important to be taken seriously.’ – Oscar Wilde
It. Is. So. Much. Fun.
It. Is. So. Much. Fun.
It. Is. So. Much. Fun.
Joseph McClendon states that when you move your body you change your attitude. He calls this ‘asstitude’.
‘Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.’ – Coco Chanel
After she celebrated her 80th she would say to us: “every day is a bonus.”
She spent almost 60 years with Granddad and often said to us: “if he had two heads, I would have married him.”
The more you know about who you are, what you love and what drives you, the easier it will be to feel successful and fulfilled.
Make sure you are in bed, lights out by 10pm – ‘catch the 10 o’clock angel train’ Optional: plan to do 30 minutes of play – something you really love to do – remember this is only 2% of your day
