So Lucky

by Dawn O'Porter

I don’t know what sounds worse, anxiety or marriage. I am glad I only suffer from one of them.

There we all are, being open and honest on the Internet. Sharing stories of how impossible the outside world feels. It’s like we enter into a black hole and come out in another universe. But we have to leave it and survive in reality. I wonder if one day, generations from now, people like me will be able to live entirely happy lives, just online. Experiencing total physical solitude, yet with thousands of people for company, who never have to see your face. Food will be delivered, clothes unnecessary. You could exist in whatever state you were dealt, and never have to feel ashamed.

‘I guess, but also, I hope not. I think, more importantly, we take our experiences with our own parents and adjust it for ourselves. At the end of the day, we all just do our best, don’t we?’ he says.

When you’re hurting, having to love another person is tough. Having to hold yourself together for them, and not letting your pain become their problem. That’s the hard stuff. It takes a lifetime to learn, and when you finally do, it’s too late.

can’t change the past. It’s always quite surprising to me how things feel terrible in retrospect, but at the time they really don’t.