truly seeing our kids is about three main things: (1) attuning to their internal mental state in a way that lets them know that we get them, so they can “feel felt” and understood on a profound and meaningful level; (2) coming to understand their inner life by using our imagination to make sense of what is actually going on inside their mind; and (3) responding in what’s called a “contingent” way, where we respond to what we see in a timely and effective manner.
