Kids whose emotional needs are quickly, sensitively, and consistently met will not fall apart if someone isn’t there for them all the time. If you let your frightened five-year-old sleep in your bed sometimes, that doesn’t mean he’ll need to be there for the rest of his life. In fact, the research shows just the opposite. Kids who believe that their caregivers will show up for them over and over again develop the independence and resilience that give them the self-confidence to step beyond their comfort zones. They will explore more courageously, and venture farther out, than children who
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