When parents are reactive and angry toward the other parent, criticize the other parent, ask the child to choose or take sides, or use the child as the communicator or translator of negative information between the adults, it can create intense states of stress that the child cannot change or escape. In these cases, instead of trying to establish and reinforce stability when the child needs it most, parents may be unintentionally chipping away at their child’s ability to feel settled and safe.
