But don’t forget the good news for all adults who received less-than-optimal parenting in their youth: You can earn secure attachment by learning about these important ingredients of security and creating them in your life now. By getting clear on your own experiences, and developing a coherent narrative about them—making sense of what happened to you and how it influenced your development—you can earn the type of attachment approach that allows you to learn how to parent in ways that are completely different from, and much healthier than, the ways you were raised. That’s what the carefully
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