The Power of Showing Up: How Parental Presence Shapes Who Our Kids Become and How Their Brains Get Wired

by Daniel J. Siegel

When asked about their early family life, they may not be willing or able to recall specific memories from childhood, particularly the emotional and relational details of experiences. They might insist that their mother was “loving” but remain unable to give any specific memories to support that statement. Their stories from childhood may reflect isolation and growing up in an emotionally and relationally barren environment, and they might insist, “It’s fine, though. I don’t like all that drama anyway.” As we mentioned, this lack of access to autobiographical memory and reflection may in part be connected to a neurological adaptation: avoidance born of the decreased development of the right hemisphere’s autobiographical memory and sense of the body’s signals.