Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life

by Nir Eyal

Unsurprisingly, our brains have a tougher time finding things when they are positioned in a disorganized manner, which means every errant icon, open tab, or unnecessary bookmark serves as a nagging reminder of things left undone or unexplored.

Removing unnecessary external triggers from our line of sight declutters our workspace and frees the mind to concentrate on what’s really important.

Inspired, I decided to follow van Els and implement a clean sweep of my own. With the exception of one or two files I will work on over the week, I put everything on my formerly cluttered desktop into one folder labeled “Everything” (very original, I know). There’s no need to sort files into folders. If I need a file, I use the search function to find it.

decided to disable all desktop notifications to ensure that various unhelpful external triggers could no longer interrupt me. To eradicate notifications, I opened the System Preferences control panel on my Mac, clicked the Notifications option, and deactivated all the notification preferences for each of the listed apps.

I also hacked the Do Not Disturb feature so that it remained on at all times by setting it to turn on at 7:00 am and turn off one minute earlier. With these hacks in place, the countless desktop notifications finally stopped. Similar steps can be taken on a Windows computer using the Focus Assist feature, which also includes the ability to allow interruptions from select people, like your boss.

REMEMBER THIS • Desktop clutter takes a heavy psychological toll on your attention. Clearing away external triggers in your digital workspace can help you stay focused. • Turn off desktop notifications. Disabling notifications on your computer ensures you won’t get distracted by external triggers while doing focused work.

Thankfully, a simple rule fixed all my tab troubles and has helped me steer clear of mindless web browsing:

I never read articles in my web browser.

I started by installing an app called Pocket on my phone, along with its browser extension on my laptop. In order to abide by my “never read articles in my browser” rule, I simply click the Pocket button in my browser every time I see an article I’d like to read. Pocket then pulls the text from the web page and saves it (without ads and any other superfluous content) to the app on my phone.

Another form of multichannel multitasking has been shown to be an effective way to help people get fit.

In my case, the articles I save to Pocket are my rewards for exercising. Every time I go to the gym or take a long walk, I get to listen to articles read to me through the Pocket app’s text-to-speech capabilities.

REMEMBER THIS • Online articles are full of potentially distracting external triggers. Open tabs can pull us off course and tend to suck us down a time-wasting content vortex. • Make a rule. Promise yourself you’ll save interesting content for later by using an app like Pocket. • Surprise! You can multitask. Use multichannel multitasking like listening to articles while working out or taking walking meetings.

But just because Facebook uses sophisticated algorithms to keep us tapping doesn’t mean we can’t hack back; I’ve found the most effective way to regain control is to eliminate the News Feed altogether. Didn’t think that was possible? It is, and here’s how. A free web browser extension called News Feed Eradicator for Facebook does exactly what it says; it eliminates the source of countless alluring external triggers and replaces them with an inspirational quote. If that tool doesn’t strike your fancy, another free technology called Todobook replaces the Facebook News Feed with the user’s to-do list.

Here’s how it works: during my scheduled social media time, I click on a button in my browser to activate an extension called Open Multiple Websites. As the name suggests, the button opens all the website addresses I’ve preloaded. Since I don’t want to land on the LinkedIn.com feed, I’ve preloaded LinkedIn.com/messaging, where I can read and respond to messages instead of falling victim to the endless, distracting feed. With the same click, the browser extension opens Twitter.com/NirEyal, where I can respond to comments and questions without seeing the infamous and inflammatory Twitter feed.

REMEMBER THIS • Feeds, like the ones we scroll through on social media, are designed to keep you engaged. Feeds are full of external triggers that can drive us to distraction. • Take control of feeds by hacking back. Use free browser extensions like News Feed Eradicator for Facebook, Newsfeed Burner, Open Multiple Websites, and DF Tube to remove distracting external triggers. (Links to all these services and more are available at NirAndFar.com/Indistractable.)

Part 4 Prevent Distraction with Pacts

A “Ulysses pact” is defined as “a freely made decision that is designed and intended to bind oneself in the future,” and is a type of precommitment we still use today.

For example, we precommit to advanced health-care directives to let our doctors and family members know our intentions should we lose our ability to make sound judgments.

REMEMBER THIS • Being indistractable does not only require keeping distraction out. It also necessitates reining ourselves in. • Precommitments can reduce the likelihood of distraction. They help us stick with decisions we’ve made in advance. • Precommitments should only be used after the other three indistractable strategies have already been applied. Don’t skip the first three steps.

Thankfully, I found Focusmate. With a vision to help people around the world stay focused, they facilitate effort pacts via a one-to-one video conferencing service.

REMEMBER THIS • An effort pact prevents distraction by making unwanted behaviors more difficult to do. • In the age of the personal computer, social pressure to stay on task has largely disappeared. No one can see what you’re working on, so it’s easier to slack off. Working next to a colleague or friend for a set period of time can be a highly effective effort pact. • You can use tech to stay off tech. Apps like SelfControl, Forest, and Focusmate can help you make effort pacts.

Explaining the results, one of the study’s authors wrote that “people are typically more motivated to avoid losses than to seek gains.” Losing hurts more than winning feels good. This irrational tendency, known as “loss aversion,” is a cornerstone of behavioral economics.

REMEMBER THIS • A price pact adds a cost to getting distracted. It has been shown to be a highly effective motivator. • Price pacts are most effective when you can remove the external triggers that lead to distraction. • Price pacts work best when the distraction is temporary. • Price pacts can be difficult to start. We fear making a price pact because we know we’ll have to actually do the thing we’re scared to do. • Learn self-compassion before making a price pact.

They found that those shown the survey about being a “voter” were much more likely to vote than those who were asked how likely they were “to vote.”

By thinking of yourself as indistractable, you empower yourself through your new identity. You can also use this identity as a rationale to tell others why you do “strange” things like meticulously plan your time, refuse to respond to every notification immediately, or put a sign on your screen when you don’t want to be disturbed.

Rather, teaching empowers us to construct a different identity, as shown by the act of helping other people prevent the same mistakes.

Another way to reinforce our identity is through rituals. Let’s look again at religion.

Though we often assume our identity is fixed, our self-image is, in fact, flexible and is nothing more than a construct in our minds. It’s a habit of thought, and, as we’ve learned, habits can be changed for the better.

REMEMBER THIS • Identity greatly influences our behavior. People tend to align their actions with how they see themselves. • An identity pact is a precommitment to a self-image. You can prevent distraction by acting in line with your identity. • Become a noun. By assigning yourself a moniker, you increase the likelihood of following through with behaviors consistent with what you call yourself. Call yourself “indistractable.” • Share with others. Teaching others solidifies your commitment, even if you’re still struggling. A great way to be indistractable is to tell friends about what you learned in this book and the changes you’re making in your life. • Adopt rituals. Repeating mantras, keeping a timeboxed schedule, or performing other routines reinforces your identity and influences your future actions.

REMEMBER THIS • Jobs where employees encounter high expectations and low control have been shown to lead to symptoms of depression. • Depression-like symptoms are painful. When people feel bad, they use distractions to avoid their pain and regain a sense of control. • Tech overuse at work is a symptom of a dysfunctional company culture. • More tech use makes the underlying problems worse, perpetuating a “cycle of responsiveness.”

defines psychological safety as “a belief that one will not be punished or humiliated for speaking up with ideas, questions, concerns, or mistakes.” Speaking up sounds easy, but if you don’t feel psychological safety you’ll keep your concerns and ideas to yourself.

REMEMBER THIS • Don’t suffer in silence. A workplace where people can’t talk about technology overuse is also one where people keep other important issues (and insights) to themselves. • Knowing that your voice matters is essential. Teams that foster psychological safety and facilitate regular open discussions about concerns not only have fewer problems with distraction but also have happier employees and customers. 8 My first job out of college was at BCG, well before Perlow’s work at the company. I did not stay at the firm for long.

peculiar slogan on the hallway walls. White letters on a bright pink background blare, “Work hard and go home.” It’s not the kind of motto you’d expect to see at a Silicon Valley company that makes the very tool many people say keeps them at work, even after they’ve gone home.

REMEMBER THIS • Indistractable organizations, like Slack and BCG, foster psychological safety, provide a place for open discussions about concerns, and, most important, have leaders who exemplify the importance of doing focused work.

Part 6 How to Raise Indistractable Children (And Why We All Need Psychological Nutrients)

In fact, the same study found that kids who spent two hours or less online per day did not have higher rates of depression and anxiety compared to controls.

REMEMBER THIS • Stop deflecting blame. When kids don’t act the way parents want, it’s natural to look for answers that help parents divert responsibility. • Techno-panics are nothing new. From the book, to the radio, to video games, the history of parenting is strewn with moral panic over things supposedly making kids act in strange ways. • Tech isn’t evil. Used in the right way and in the right amounts, kids’ tech use can be beneficial, while too much (or too little) can have slightly harmful effects. • Teach kids to be indistractable. Teaching children how to manage distraction will benefit them throughout their lives.

LESSON 1: KIDS NEED AUTONOMY—VOLITION AND FREEDOM OF CONTROL OVER THEIR CHOICES

LESSON 2: CHILDREN STRIVE FOR COMPETENCE—MASTERY, PROGRESSION, ACHIEVEMENT, AND GROWTH

LESSON 3: THEY SEEK RELATEDNESS—FEELING IMPORTANT TO OTHERS AND THAT OTHERS ARE IMPORTANT TO THEM

Whereas previous generations were allowed to simply play after school and form close social bonds, many children today are raised by parents who restrict outdoor play because of “child predators, road traffic, and bullies,” according to a survey of parents in an Atlantic article. These concerns were mentioned even though kids today are statistically the safest generation in American history. Unfortunately, this is a downward spiral that leaves many kids with no choice but to stay indoors, attend structured programs, or rely on technology to find and connect with others.

REMEMBER THIS • Internal triggers drive behavior. To understand how to help kids manage distraction, we need to start by understanding the source of the problem. • Our kids need psychological nutrients. According to a widely accepted theory of human motivation, all people need three things to thrive: a sense of autonomy, competence, and relatedness. • Distractions satisfy deficiencies. When our kids’ psychological needs are not met in the real world, they go looking for satisfaction—often in virtual environments. • Kids need alternatives. Parents and guardians can take steps to help kids find balance between their online and offline worlds by providing more offline opportunities to find autonomy, competence, and relatedness. • The four-part Indistractable Model is valuable for kids as well. Teach them methods for handling distraction, and, most important, model being indistractable yourself.

Getz wants her daughters to continue to ask themselves questions to self-monitor and self-regulate their behavior: “Is my behavior working for me? Am I proud of myself, in the way I’m behaving?” she asks them to ask themselves.

My advice involved a few unorthodox ideas. First, I advised her to have a conversation with her sons and to listen to them without judgment. Potential questions to ask included the following: Is keeping up with their schoolwork consistent with their values? Do they know why they are asked to do their homework? What are the consequences of not doing their assignments? Are they OK with those consequences, both short term (getting a bad grade) and long term (settling for a low-skilled job)? Without their agreement that schoolwork mattered to them, forcing them to do something they didn’t want to do amounted to coercion and would only breed resentment.

Empowering children with the autonomy to control their own time is a tremendous gift. Even if they fail from time to time, failure is part of the learning process.

As a family, play can and should extend beyond mealtimes. In my household, we’ve established a weekly “Sunday Funday,” where we rotate the responsibility to plan a three-hour activity. When it’s my turn, I might take the family to the park for a long conversation while we walk. My daughter typically requests to play a board game when it’s her turn to pick. My wife often proposes a trip to a local farmers’ market to discover and sample new foods. Whatever the choice, the idea is to regularly set aside time together to feed our need for relatedness.

REMEMBER THIS • Teach traction. With so many potential distractions in kids’ lives, teaching them how to make time for traction is critical. • Just as with our own timeboxed schedules, kids can learn how to make time for what’s important to them. If they don’t learn to make their own plans in advance, kids will turn to distractions. • It’s OK to let your kids fail. Failure is how we learn. Show kids how to adjust their schedules to make time to live up to their values.

Exploring the world and navigating its risks are an important part of growing up, but giving a kid a smartphone or other gadgetry before they have the faculties to use it properly is just as irresponsible as letting them jump headfirst into a pool without knowing how to swim.

Instead of giving our kids a fully functional pinging and dinging smartphone, it’s better to start with a feature phone that only makes calls and sends text messages. Such a phone can be purchased for less than twenty-five dollars and does not come with the apps that can distract a child with external triggers. If location tracking is a priority, a GPS-enabled wristwatch like the GizmoWatch keeps track of kids through an app on parents’ phones but only allows incoming and outgoing calls to and from select numbers.

Kids also need plenty of sleep, and anything that flickers, beeps, or buzzes during the night is a distraction. Anya Kamenetz, author of The Art of Screen Time, writes that making sure kids get enough sleep is “the one issue with the most incontrovertible evidence.” Kamenetz strongly advises that “screens and sleep don’t mix” and implores parents to keep all digital devices out of kids’ rooms at nighttime and to shut down screens at least an hour before bedtime.