Reinventing Your Life

by Jeffrey E. Young

ORIGINS OF THE SUBJUGATION LIFETRAP 1. Your parents tried to dominate or control almost every aspect of your life. 2. Your parent(s) punished, threatened, or got angry at you when you would not do things their way. 3. Your parent(s) withdrew emotionally or cut off contact with you if you disagreed with them about how to do things. 4. Your parent(s) did not allow you to make your own choices as a child. 5. Because your mother/father was not around enough, or was not capable enough, you ended up taking care of the rest of the family. 6. Your parent(s) always talked to you about their personal problems, so that you were always in the role of listener. 7. Your parent(s) made you feel guilty or selfish if you would not do what they wanted. 8. Your parent(s) were like martyrs or saints—they selflessly took care of everyone else and denied their own needs. 9. You did not feel that your rights, needs, or opinions were respected when you were a child. 10. You had to be very careful about what you did or said as a child, because you worried about your mother’s/father’s tendency to become worried or depressed. 11. You often felt angry at your parent(s) for not giving you the freedom that other children had.