What I Wish I Knew When I Was 20: A Crash Course on Making Your Place in the World

by Tina Seelig

the recruiter and the candidate have opposing objectives.

two of eight objectives in common, two that are opposing, two that are much more important to the candidate, and two that are much more important to the recruiter.

to ferret out everyone’s interests so the outcome can be maximized for everyone.

you get opportunities to negotiate every day and so have many chances to practice this skill.

extracting the most value from negotiations.

looking for surprises when you negotiate, because surprises indicate you’ve made inaccurate assumptions.

approach based on the interests and style of the person with whom you’re negotiating, ...

no intersection between their goals,

a BATNA (best alternative to a negotiated agreement).

we don’t fully appreciate our alternatives, we may make a big mistake.

In general, to negotiate effectively you need to understand your own goals as well as the goals of the other party, attempt to come up with a win-win outcome, and know when to walk away.

Getting out of your own head and seeing other people’s perspectives

Successful team players understand what drives each person on the team and look for ways to make them successful.

The idea is that you should pick the most talented person you can (the arrow) and then craft the job (the target) around what he or she does best.

make it easy for others to help you. Look at

the situation from their perspective, and figure out how to make the ask as simple as possible.

how to work well with others, optimize your negotiations, extract the most from your teams, and make yourself easy to help.

“Never miss an opportunity to be fabulous!”

Being fabulous implies making the decision to go beyond what’s expected.

how shifts in the way we act—at work, with our family, on vacation, etc.—have a huge impact when those acts amplify moments of elevation, pride, insight, and connection to others.

Being fabulous also shifts the way you engage with others.

in environments where there are limited resources, being driven to make yourself and others successful is often a much more productive strategy than being purely competitive.

Each interaction is another opportunity to deliver a great experience

and to enhance

being willing to reach for your true potential.

you are ultimately responsible for your actions and the resulting outcomes.

give yourself permission to challenge assumptions, to look at the world with fresh eyes, to experiment, to fail, to plot your own course, and to test the limits of your abilities.

They have a new appreciation for the power of paying attention to the problems in the world around them, and they learn that they’re empowered to fix them.

creative confidence.”

permission—both explicit and implicit—to experiment, to fail...

just need to recognize that it’s ours to grant ourselves and not something...

we are each responsible for crafting our own personal story, and for understanding how our story ...

we choose how we view the world around us.

Our perception becomes our reality.

essentially reinvents itself by recycling all the original material while keeping a core of what it was before.

We are deeply influenced by the stories others tell us and those we tell ourselves, and these stories shape the possibilities we see in our future.

In order to shape your own story, you need to understand who and where you are now, how you got here, your strengths and weaknesses, and where you want to go from here.

Positive Intelligence, Shirzad

Essentially, what we achieve is influenced by where we have been and what we tell ourselves.

being in the same position does not mean we are actually in the same place.

Your position is how the world sees you, and your place is how you see yourself in the world.

where you begin is certainly not an accurate predictor of where you will end up.

his most important insight is that you shouldn’t take yourself too seriously or judge others too harshly.

success is sweet but transient.

you should not define yourself by your current position or believe all your own press.

to make each opportunity stand out, to appreciate every moment, and to avoid squandering even a single day.

uncertainty opens the door to possibilities.

Uncertainty is the essence of life, a fire that sparks innovation, and an engine that drives us forward.

boundless possibilities result from extracting yourself from your comfort zone, being willing to fail, having a healthy disregard for the impossible, and seizing every opportunity to be fabulous.

embrace that uncertainty.