What I Wish I Knew When I Was 20: A Crash Course on Making Your Place in the World

by Tina Seelig

The key is that by setting your intention on larger and larger goals, and taking a series of small steps in those directions, you ultimately achieve more than you could ever have imagined.

It is remarkable how one statement, often from a stranger, can shift the way one sees oneself and one’s prospects.

to separate what I wanted for myself and what others wanted for me.

I needed to be a leaf in the wind for a while in order to understand what was the right path for me.

important to keep experimenting, trying lots of things until you find out what works. Being too set on your path too early will likely lead you in the wrong direction.

“too often people are concerned about getting on the train at the right time, as opposed to getting on the right train.”

keep your eyes open instead of blinding yourself to the serendipitous options that might present themselves.

but you will never be successful unless you embrace the process of discovery and accept the uncertainty.

The uncertainty that we face when we leave school never evaporates.

It is also important to reassess your life and career relatively frequently.

The more frequently you assess your situation, looking for ways to fix problems, the more likely you are to find yourself in a position where things are going well.

The goal is to find a role in the world that doesn’t feel like work.

Don’t worry that the path ahead appears out of focus—squinting

you need to put yourself in a position to be lucky.

Luck is defined as “success or failure apparently brought by chance rather than through one’s own actions.”

Luck captures the things that happen to us, and our behavior encapsulates the things over which we have control.

Luck results when we know how and when to lead in our dance with life.

by helping others, others are more likely to help us.

different ways people engage with the world, allowing them to see and seize

lucky people take advantage of chance occurrences that come their way.

open to novel opportunities and willing to try things outside their usual experiences.

being observant, open-minded, friendly, and optimistic invites luck your way.

every time they walk onto a city bus, a million dollars is waiting there for them—they

Lucky people don’t just pay attention to the world around them and meet interesting individuals; they also find unusual ways to use and recombine their knowledge and experiences.

the more experiences you have and the broader your base of knowledge, the more resources you have from which to draw.

He put himself out there by asking for what he wanted.

by exposing ourselves to as many diverse experiences as possible, boldly recombining these experiences in unusual ways, and fearlessly striving to get to the stage on which we want to play out our lives.

gratitude is the quality of being thankful, and appreciation is the act of showing gratitude.

to build bridges—and

Every experience you have with someone else is a drop of water falling into a pool.

thinking about how you want to tell the story in the future is a great way to assess your response to dilemmas in general. Craft the story now so you’ll be proud to tell it later.

This story demonstrates that it is important to take responsibility for your actions and be willing to learn from your experiences.

those who demonstrate that they are willing to learn can turn negative situations around very effectively.

A mindset of learning is powerful enough to change someone’s negative bias toward you.

When you ask others if you can help, they are always pleased that you offered.

since the more you help others, the luckier you get.

they rationalize doing the “smart” thing as opposed to the “right” thing.

there is a significant difference between doing the right thing and rationalizing a decision that’s best for you.

Life is a huge buffet of enticing platters of possibilities, but putting too much on your plate just leads to indigestion.

prioritizing

pick three priorities at any one time, knowing that these will change as your life changes.

What things do you need to do, and what things do you want to do?

It is important to train yourself to say no when you know deep down that you don’t have the time, no matter how attractive the opportunity.

Always show appreciation to those who help you.

Protect and enhance your reputation—it’s

Do the right thing, as opposed to the smart thing, so you’ll be proud to tell your story later. And don’t take on too much,

Consider how much time you spend doing things you need and want to do, and prioritize for yourself,

the most important outcome of any negotiation is to get to the next negotiation.

If the first negotiation is fair and balanced, and both parties follow through on their commitments, then chances are the next negotiation will go even more smoothly.

making assumptions,