Some folks think that the opposite of losing it is staying calm and collected all the time, and never getting into any sort of conflict with your child ever. They assume it means feeling happy, patient, and present at every moment, and responding to your children with a song in your heart and a smile on your face no matter what sort of crap (either metaphorical or literal) they dump at your exhausted feet. This sort of thinking just reeks of perfection and clearly won’t work for me or you or any other parent on the planet. Conflict and disconnection and unpleasant feelings and strong emotions
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