How to Stop Losing Your Shit with Your Kids: A Practical Guide to Becoming a Calmer, Happier Parent

by Carla Naumburg

Although there are many ways to lose your shit with your kids, some are worse than others. Insults and threats are particularly damaging, as is physical aggression or violence of any kind, including hitting, slapping, spanking, or throwing things. Perhaps this is part of the culture you were raised in or are parenting in, or maybe it’s a new experience for you. Either way, if any of this is happening in your home, it needs to stop. First, do what you can to stop blaming and shaming yourself. Yes, the situation is serious, but the sooner you can find a little forgiveness and kindness for yourself, the sooner you’ll be able to get some help and make some important changes. You’re not the only parent to ever hit your child, but that doesn’t mean it’s OK. You can do better. I promise. You may not be able to do it alone, and that doesn’t mean you’ve failed at parenting. It just means you’re in over your head. Talking to someone you trust is the first step: It can be a friend or family member, your doctor or pediatrician, a therapist, counselor, minister, rabbi, priest, or imam. It’s not going to be an easy conversation or an enjoyable one, but it needs to happen. You can do this.