How to Stop Losing Your Shit with Your Kids: A Practical Guide to Becoming a Calmer, Happier Parent

by Carla Naumburg

More commonly, we’re exposed to smaller triggers over time, and our buttons slowly get bigger, brighter, more sensitive, and easier for our kids to push. Our baseline functioning gets elevated, bringing us closer in general to losing it. The more triggered we are, the more our limbic system amps up, ready to send us into reactive mode, until we get to the point where it just takes one thrown toy or smart-ass comment to send us over the edge. The limbic system takes control, the prefrontal cortex goes off-line, and shit is lost. Fortunately for the sanity of everyone involved, the opposite is also true. Each time we get enough sleep, move our bodies, stretch, breathe, spend time with friends, do a crossword puzzle, read a book, and take care of ourselves in basic ways, we’re calming those buttons down. We’re activating our parasympathetic nervous system (the relaxation and connection part of our nervous system), strengthening our prefrontal cortexes, and lowering our overall baseline, bringing us closer to a place of chill. Basically, we’re creating more space between our current state and freaking out. But if we don’t take care of ourselves properly, our buttons never really power down.