Gypsy Rising (All the Pretty Monsters, #5)

by Kristy Cunning

“Everything I told you I was going to do, but you were too busy chasing Idun to listen. Does that make me sound jealous too?” I ask, pretending to muse it over, before cutting my eyes to Damien.

Her badass moment

“I don’t even get the time, attention, or genuine interest I need from one boyfriend between all four of you combined since she came back. You’re all sitting around, calling each day’s events scripted and obvious, wondering what she has to gain from this charade. Meanwhile, you’re all sitting around watching her day and night. Congratulations. She’s winning.”

“I was worried when the age-gap was going to become an issue,” Vance states on a tired breath. “Centuries of being monsters…versus her twenty-six-years of being mostly human.” “No wonder we stay in trouble,” I grumble, still confused about all the fuss going on below.

LMAOANSAISBSISBAK STOP

“Shera, Avery, the omegas…all of them are under Violet’s representation. You’ve all signed over your punishment rights to those individuals, and Violet is to be held personally responsible for them as long as she sees it productive.”

AHAHAHAAHABAB

Vance starts to speak, but Violet smiles broadly at Zuela, speaking before Vance can get a word in. “Sorry, Sir Van Helsing. It wouldn’t have been a waste of time if you’d said yes, but you didn’t.” My lips resist the urge to grin, before she walks back into the room with the baby once again, leaving Zuela turning forty shades of furious red. I do love that woman prickly.

“I’ll put you in bed so you can sleep, little monster. But you can’t be on your feet any longer,” he murmurs against my forehead, before brushing a kiss there. “And you can’t break up with friends the same as boyfriends.”

Stop because Emit ilysm now

“You’re saying you can feel what everyone is feeling?” she asks me like she’s probing. Leveling her with a look, I give her a crooked smile. “Surely someone’s informed you by now what empathic means,” I say, hearing Anna make a dramatic sizzling sound that sounds eerily like skin burning.

I glance over, seeing Anna behind the wheel of a sedan with the motor already running. While everyone is distracted, I hop into the back seat, and then remember…Anna’s a fucking ghost.

Anna screams just as loud as I do, as a random stack of nachos come out of nowhere and slap me in the face. For Pete’s sake! This is a tense situation, and she’s ruining that! “Why are you driving?!” I shout at her. “How are you driving?!” “Because you can’t have a fast getaway if you’re doing the speed limit!” she snaps. “And I have ghost powers, eejit!” Another scream comes out of us both when she takes another curve. Her scream turns into diabolical laughter, as she lifts her hands so high they pass through the roof. “Look ma! No hands!” That, of course, only makes me scream louder, even though she’s clearly copy-catting Shera right now.

LMAOAASONAIA STOPPP AHAHAHAGAAGAGGAA

“Talbot Lane. I’m an incubus, and since you have no one representing our people inside your sanctuary, aside from an alpha none of us can ever remember without a refresher, it’d be an excellent idea to consider me. I brought my portfolio,” he says, passing me a folder, as he brings his phone up.

“Forty-eight Simpletons have endured a hundred times as much as you’re all cringing at today. Which is why I’m here. It’s my turn. Because I’m what stands between her petty, deranged tantrums and all of you,” she goes on, which has Nadine darting a glance at all of us.

“I’m January Violet Carmine,” she says as she pops all five of her fingers back into place, one by one. “I’m twenty-six-years-old, newly single, have an excellent driving record, pay all my bills on time, and work my ass off to make a living, when I’m not building a sanctuary, dodging wolves who want me dead for no reason, vampire mercenaries paid for by one of my own kin, and crazy ex-girlfriends,” Violet chirps.

“I was born to stand in your way, just because I fucking can. And now everyone’s going to know that you’re not my problem. But I just became the only problem you’re allowed to have, because you, the big, scary, all-powerful alpha can’t even make me scream while I’m still just a pup.”

“You see, you’re the only thing standing between me and the legend she’s attempting to build. I’ve spent too long knowing what comes next to pass up the opportunity to see something real and different.”

“All these centuries of such strong loyalty, and you couldn’t grant me one request. For that, I was punished today. By Violet. The cruel girl made me watch how fucking stupid I truly am.”

“Now we know what that means,” Emit tells her, as he crouches near the edge, wolf eyes shining. “If Violet wants to be a sanctuary, she’ll be a motherfucking sanctuary, and you can let a few shifters go whenever she asks it. In the grand scheme of things, she’s asking for so little,” Vance goes on as he absently shines his sword.

“I planned to stay neutral, but I also planned a backup plan with all my knowledge, Idun. Violet’s just a little impatient, but since we’re her monsters, I’ll skip ahead.”

“It’s amazing what technology exists in this era, Idun. I warned you not to fuck with me,” I add, as Vance starts reading off the highlighted portions of the blue-leather-bound book full of laws we’ve passed that we simply allowed Idun to break, because we didn’t bother to learn them.

“Now the Vampyre is trying to kill me off. I’m not sleeping with your damn girlfriend. Kit would obliterate her,” Zuela states defensively. “Kit would love her,” Damien argues very loudly and in a very concerned tone. “They all love her. Every-damn-body who spends five minutes with her loves her because she’s just that damn loveable. Zuela can’t stay with her when we’re trying to go with this stupid plan,” he adds, holding up the blue book from fucking hell.

“What was the favor?” Zuela asks like he’s tired and wants to be done with this conversation. “I was going to ask you to do the masterpiece she wants,” Vance states dryly. “So all this grief just for you to ask me to do what I’m already doing, and you’ve been hassling me about the shite? This is why you’re intolerable.” “Agreed,” Emit, Damien, and I all say in unison, drawing an annoyed glare from Vance.

LMAKKNAO AHHAHAHA

I spot a kid on the roof across from us, frowning…and then he stares across the street to where Violet is swaying with Jasper in her arms. “Sickos,” the kid says before he ducks back inside. “Great. Just great. Now I’m as pathetic as all of you,” I say tightly.

AHHA ARION

my bestie from hell argues.

And bestie #2 is shera

That fucking wanker. I’m going to tear off the wanker’s wanker and give it to another wanker who wants a wee wanker.

“Someone tell me his name so I can dispose of the body properly,” Arion says, smiling darkly at us. Vance exhales like he really doesn’t want to waste time dealing with him. “Kidding,” Arion finally says a little sourly as he looks back.

“Sort of kidding,” Arion amends.

“Since they split up?” Arion asks, as a slight chill causes our breaths to fog. “What’s his name?” “Dead Wanker,” I say absently, just as Vance answers, “Jerome.” “Jerome?” Arion parrots in a very agitated tone. “Jerome has spent five months tending to her one dream right under our noses? He’s the bloody ex she fucking lived with, you stupid fucks,” he adds like this is all our fault.

Dead Wanker it is. Yep. I’ll carve it on his fucking gravestone myself.

“What if he’s just passing through?” I bite out. “I won’t handle another man touching her. I’ll break his fucking brain if I go messing around in his human head with this much

Arion looks over me like he’s actually soaking in this moment. “I’ve never actually seen you genuinely jealous before now. Idun fucked Dorian and you didn’t go this crazy.”

I glance down, realizing I’m clutching Arion’s hand like we’re two teen girls watching our crush get worked up.

AHAHAAHAHHHAHAGAHA OMFG THIS IS TOO FUNNYYYY

“Oooo,” Arion says into his hand while giving a small fist-pump to the air. “I vote he can be your beta if he hates the mongrel.”

“Unbelievable. Five months and no one spares me a glance, and now everyone is stalking me right after I break up with them. I knew this would happen,” she mutters as she pinches the bridge of her nose. “So then she admits she wanted this to happen,” Arion states with a growing grin. “Otherwise, why break up with us at all?”

“The wolf is apparently off his rocker and not holding back anymore,” I point out. “Which means…he’s clearly about to take her as a mate.”

“He locked her ex in my vehicle so he could bloody steal her away. He’s decidedly in mate mode,” I absently counter, gesturing at the unwanted captive I’m now stuck with.

Omfg this idiot

“Emit hasn’t even tried to date me. Why does mating sound more like marriage than dating?” I ask on a long sigh.

“Violet, I want you to be my bride,” he inserts very randomly. I forget what I was even saying as my eyes go wide and round in my head. This day started out so much more ordinary—well, sort of. “I’m sorry, but did I somehow step into the Twilight Zone. Emit wants to mate me and mark me for werewolf marriage, and you suddenly want me as your bride—after both of you spent five months watching your ex! Do monster men not understand anything at all about women?”

AHAHAHAAH IM SORRY BC THIS IS SO FUNNYYYY ILY ARION

“Tell me you want me to walk away forever, and I will,” he whispers, brushing his lips along mine in a way that evokes a shudder throughout my body. “Tell me you really want me to stop chasing, and I’ll leave you be,” he goes on, eyes searching mine as if he expects an answer.

“I’ll be your friend. For now,” he says in a way that sounds more like a warning. “But unless you cut ties to me, you will become my bride. You’ve not seen me chase yet, love. You just think you have.”

Marry me

“We’ve spent too much time together. I actually feel sorry for him, damn it,” Damien grinds out, as he crosses his arms over his chest and slinks down in his seat.

“Monster Olympics?” Damien mouths.

HEHEHEHHE

“Violet once told me she’d always wanted to be a team mascot, but she never spent enough time in a town to make friends, let alone become a part of a team,” Arion goes on. “I’ve already secured an appropriate sized stadium, several horses, some of those unnecessary hurdles people now put on tracks just to make running harder, and a few other things. I’m looking for a band. According to my research, all good events have big names headlining for such events.”

Omg im seriously in dire need of a man like this

“Violet stuck me in the friend zone. I’m going to remind her I’m one helluva romantic son of a bitch, far more so than any of you lot. Then she’ll be my bride.”

He likes the freedom too much to assert that sort of control. Until Violet.

With gentle examination, he continues to inspect her ankles while answering, “We’ll include all the alphas and prospective or current betas. Omegas will have a few events they can compete in, but they’ll feel the urge to serve, so we’ll have chores set up for them. Violet will love it. Then I’ll propose.”

“All the more reason to prove she’s who we choose over—” My doorbell chimes, and a shock of heat licks up my spine. Arion and Damien’s eyes shift to mine. “She’s like Beetle Juice. We said her name one too many bloody times,” Damien gripes dispassionately, betraying the unease in his eyes, as he shifts closer to Violet.

Violet’s certainly a little more accepting of our worst than Idun, but Idun doesn’t quite understand that. Yet. She thinks our worst is rebelling against her desperate, sadistic need for control.

Arion starts to move toward him, but Emit growls low in his throat again, warning the vampire to keep a distance. “She’s not just yours,” the stupid vampire says, even though I’m thankful his eyes have dulled back down to only black.

“You’ll be on your way then, right?” Damien calls out the window, waving like a loon. “Been great catching up. Our girlfriend’s unconscious and Emit’s wolf has decided now’s the perfect time to mate. Ta ta for now.”

Hes unconciously funny

Only Damien can be this obnoxious and endearing.

I’ll blame the post-orgasmic bliss that has almost put me into a coma for the stupid grin that won’t go away. Because I’m still pissed. I think. Stupid, infuriating, male monsters.