Zach did ruin my date. He said there were no secrets from him. So he probably figured out that tonight Ryan was taking me out. This is exactly like prom. But unlike prom, unlike all the years at St. Patrick’s, I don’t have the need to get even. All I feel is empty. Exhausted, tired. Scared. I feel scared. I feel like for years, I’ve hated Zach with such intensity that he’s consumed every thought in my head. He’s taken up all the spaces in my body that I have nothing left to give. Nothing left to feel. Maybe I hate him so much that I’ll never be able to love anyone. I’ll never have what my
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