Lightbearer

by L.C. Davis

“Why is drag your solution to everything?”

Investigating Sirena’s cult. If you find this, I’m probably dead or sucking demon cock. Either way, don’t bother looking for me. P.S. I bequeath to you my evil cat. Don’t ever give him catnip or you’ll figure out why his name is Cheese. P.P.S. This isn’t a suicide note, but if anyone asks, tell them it was bears.

I’m not exactly sure what the proper reaction to realizing you’ve summoned the devil is supposed to be, but it’s probably not, “Who’s amounting to nothing now, Ma?”

“Hi, Devil Daddy,” is what came out, and I smacked myself in the face. “I mean...cock. Fuck! I mean fuck. Not you...me. Wait, that’s not right either.” He kept staring and I didn’t speak demon face, but I was pretty damn sure that look meant I had seconds to live if I didn’t get my shit together.

“There’s a line between giving up and making deals with the fucking devil.” “Technically, he’s just a Duke of Hell.” “Beside the point, Sirena!”

“That’s good, because when the portal sealed behind Sirena, it sealed for the foreseeable future,” he said, crossing his arms. “For the time being, we’re under siege, which means no one gets in or out.” “Like a slumber party?” His eyes narrowed. “No, not like a slumber party. Like a siege. What is wrong with you?”

“You know, if I weren’t a card-carrying feminist, I’d be real damn tempted to call you the B-word right now.” Shera raised an eyebrow. “Bitch?” “Worse,” I said, putting a hand over my heart. “Bad friend.”

“The blueprint for his summoning stone.” “What’s that, a stone used for summoning?” “No, you twit, it’s --” He hesitated. “Actually, yes. That’s exactly what it is.” “Told you I was paying attention.”

Is that going on the record, Chimneyel?) [Defibrillators, Mr. Curtis. Just stick with your best recollection. And it’s Chemuel.] Right, sorry. So anyway, Chimney,

“You did say you wanted romance,” he remarked out of the blue. “I can’t imagine discussing Lucifer is very conducive to that.” “Don’t kinkshame me.”

“So your protocol is fine with you stabbing me with your knife cock, but caffeine is off the table?”