Lightbearer

by L.C. Davis

When she finally answered, relief and brotherly love overflowed within me and I blurted out, “Holy fuck, you look like shit.”

Having never done ceremonial magic before, I felt a little out of my element, but putting together IKEA furniture seemed like decent preparation. Less blood involved in the actual magic, though.

I slid the shake aside and cracked the giant book in front of me. Did Shera the Warrior Princess seriously expect me to read all of this shit? If so, she was dramatically overestimating my attention span. I had more than a few scars from being too impatient to read instruction manuals as it was.

If I ever found a way back to earth, explaining her to my landlord was gonna be hella fun. “Hey, Shera, you think emotional support hellhounds are a thing?”

“You know, he may talk a big game, but deep down, he’s still a man,” said Maiz. “As opposed to what, a bunch of possums in a trenchcoat?”

“We’re not ready,” I protest. “You said you’d have to perform surgery. Don’t you need time to Google it or something?”