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When he showed up an hour later than he’d said, he looked beat. And I mean, fair enough. He’s a crime scene analyst for the SVU and I can’t think of many jobs that would have me turning in my humanity card faster than that, but still.
Investigating Sirena’s cult. If you find this, I’m probably dead or sucking demon cock. Either way, don’t bother looking for me. P.S. I bequeath to you my evil cat. Don’t ever give him catnip or you’ll figure out why his name is Cheese. P.P.S. This isn’t a suicide note, but if anyone asks, tell them it was bears.
I see you looking at me. All judgy, like you’ve never summoned the Dark One under the new moon out of desperation.
“Hi, Devil Daddy,” is what came out, and I smacked myself in the face. “I mean...cock. Fuck! I mean fuck. Not you...me. Wait, that’s not right either.”
It wasn’t the idea of fucking him that put me off. Hell, if the big guy was a carnival ride, I’d already have a stack of tickets bunched up in my fists.
“You said I had the option,” I reminded him. “Are you going back on your word?” “Of course not,” he snapped, clearly insulted by the insinuation. Guess honor meant more to demons than I would have thought. “I’m just not sure you understand what you’re agreeing to.” “I’d be your bitch,” I said with a shrug. “I’ve had worse gigs.” He stared at me like I’d broken him. Could you break a demon? It felt like an accomplishment, even though I was pretty sure I should have been insulted by the look of horror in those red eyes.
I waited in the demon’s chambers for all of ten minutes before I decided he was probably gone forever and started trying to find my way out. Turns out, the door wasn’t even locked. Then again, I guess they’re not worried about people trying to break into Hell.
The fact that crisp if chilly air filled my lungs came as a relief, and the same scent of burnt something that permeated the rest of the castle grew lighter the closer I got to the arched doorways surrounding what I assumed was a lobby. There were chairs and couches, even a few bookshelves, like I’d stumbled into the common area of some subterranean dormitory.
I told myself it was just my imagination, but it seemed like the hallways changed every time I saw them. Doors would be shifted, new turns I didn’t remember from before. I made a note to myself not to go exploring without a hellacious GPS.
After three weeks in this literal hell, I was starting to get used to being called like a dog. After the first couple of days, I’d rarely seen Apollyon and gotten used to the idea of being an infernal trophy wife.
When he did show up, he was usually distracted, moody and short on words, so it was basically like we’d jumped from the wedding to year ten, but all things considered…
Excuse me? Who or what governs Hell?” I demanded. Insisting that no one sent me anywhere probably wasn’t going to help, since that’s exactly what an angel spy would say. “You don’t want to know,” he answered, his eyes stone cold as they met mine. And here I’d thought he was intimidating before. I realized in that moment that I’d been getting the kid gloves version of Apollyon up to that point. Now, all bets were off and he was every bit the demon I’d feared he was.
“I was under the impression that you were just another mortal in the wrong place at the wrong time. But you’re not, are you? You’re so much more than that.” “Yeah, an Architect,” I said bitterly. “Shitty deal, if you ask me.” “Perhaps, the way you’ve been managed,” he mused. “But in the right hands? You could be quite useful.” “I’m flattered, but I’ll pass. Matter of fact, why don’t you keep your hands as far away from me as possible?” His expression fell, but he returned his claws to his lap. “However this angel has secured your loyalty, I assure you, he sees you as nothing more than a pawn.
...more
“Uh. The only time I’ve ever even set foot in a church was because they had a sign advertising peach cobbler out front,” I said flatly. “You’re really barkin’ up the wrong tree here.” “Then perhaps the deal was made without your knowledge,” he said, clearly irritated. “Bullshit. My dad left when I was a kid and the only saint my mom prays to is Jose Cuervo. Neither of them sold my soul to an angel.” “And yet, here you are.” “Here I am,” I muttered. “And I can’t do the impossible, no matter how much of a temper tantrum you throw, so here we stand.
Then again, they seemed impressed that I remembered my own name and wasn’t drawing creepy shit on the walls, so who knew?
When a super-powerful demon lady with a whip tells you to run, you don’t dawdle. You fucking run until you can’t feel your feet. Except, no one really outruns a hellhound. That’s kind of what they’re known for.
“What is it?” “I can’t say for sure because it’s been a few million years since anyone has seen one, but I think it’s a hellhound.” “Whoa,” I murmured, looking it over with new appreciation. Sure, it looked like a hellhound--or what I’d imagined a hellhound would look like--but knowing it actually was one… “How did I make something I’ve never even seen before?” “That’s for Apollyon to figure out. I’ve done enough for one day,” Shera announced.
“It’s a she now?” “It has a feminine spirit,” I informed her. “And her name is Janis.” “Janus?” Shera wrinkled her nose. “Like the Roman god?” “No, Janis as in the goddess of rock,” I clarified. Shera gave an exasperated sigh. “You know what? Apollyon can deal with this. I’m off the clock.”
“I told you to start him off small.” “He has two modes. Hopeless incompetence and mad genius. There is no inbetween.”
So anyway, Chimney, I was totally convinced I was a goner and then Apollyon heart-fingers me out of the blue. His eyes flashed this weird white-green color, and at first, I thought it was a hallucination, but he gave me this, “Oh, shit, no way” look and breathed, “Lucifer.” And then they all gasped. Okay, so a few of them gasped. One was more of a cough, but there was a general air of, “Oh, no, he didn’t,” in the room and the look on Shera’s face would’ve been priceless, if I hadn’t been in agonizing pain.
“Did you just say Lucifer?” Shera asked, her voice strained with something I’d never heard in it before. Fear. “Yes,” Apollyon said listlessly, staring at me. Or maybe through me. “Where’s the stone?” one of the hooded figures hissed. His voice was far too serpentine for him to be anything close to human. “It’s inside of him,” Apollyon answered, unblinking. Then, he uttered the three last words I ever thought I’d hear him say. “I was wrong.”
“What do you mean it wasn’t supposed to happen while I’m alive?” “He’s not just an Architect,” Apollyon said without slowing his pace, his boots tapping loudly on the stone as he carried me down a dark hallway I’d never been down before. “He’s a Vessel.” “Lucifer’s?” Shera’s voice was shrill with terror. “How did he end up here?” “My assumption is that Levi was a sacrifice,” he muttered. “Since he was until recently afflicted with a terminal condition, the transformation would have taken place naturally upon his death.”
Someone wanna tell me what the fuck a Vessel is since apparently I am one now?” I pleaded. It was getting hard to keep up. “It’s a human possessed by an angel,” Shera answered. ”Or a demon.” I swallowed hard. “And I’m Lucifer’s new costume? That’s my fucking destiny?” “It would seem so,” Apollyon answered, placing me down on a stone table in the center of a darkly lit room.
cried. “Half of us were wiped out in the last ambush and in order to resurrect their souls and mount any attempt at a reasonable resistance against Lucifer, you’d need a lightbearer and right now, you’re batting zip for two.” “Uh, I’m still willing to fulfill my contractual obligations if it means my heart not turning to stone and the devil trying on my body,” I interjected. “Just putting it out there.”
“I’m not abandoning my post,” she snapped, looking over at me. “I can’t believe the fate of this realm depends on an underachieving delivery driver.” “You think I’m underachieving?” I cooed. “Someone’s softening up.” She rolled her eyes.
“You were serious about that?” Apollyon asked, staring at me in the incredulous manner to which I’d become so accustomed. “Of course I was serious. You’re talking about a twenty-four-seven fuckfest for the next month, co-starring me and your freaky demon dick,” I informed him. “I don’t think I’m out of line expecting at least a little foreplay in the romance department.”
“Why would he want to possess a human, anyway?” “For the same reason I need a lightbearer,” he answered. “Even he is limited in how long he can manifest a physical presence on the surface.” I grimaced. “So what, when I died, I was supposed to come back as a meat puppet?” “More or less.”
“You did say you wanted romance,” he remarked out of the blue. “I can’t imagine discussing Lucifer is very conducive to that.” “Don’t kinkshame me.”
“What the fuck is with your tongue?” I gasped, breathless. He looked up impatiently once more and it flicked past his full lips. “You like?” I gulped. Like was an understatement. Was there a word for erotic horror?
I took another sip of lies, AKA decaf coffee, and sighed.
“It had nothing to do with you.” “Then what? Not ready for the demands of parenting a hellacious army?” I challenged. “Claiming you means going up against Lucifer,” he answered. “It’s an act of sedition, punishable by eternal death if I fail.” “Eternal death?” I echoed. “Is that like the extended edition of a DVD?” “Director’s cut.” I winced. “Yikes.”
“There are two heartbeats, Levi.” “What?” Now that I had an answer, I wasn’t sure what the hell I was supposed to do with it. “What does that mean?” “I don’t know.” Three of the most unsettling words you can hear coming out of a doctor’s mouth, and I had plenty of experience. “It shouldn’t be possible.” There it was. There were the other four.
Apollyon gave me a silencing look and kept feeling for whatever it was he was feeling for. He finally yanked his hand away and stared down at my stomach like it was a portal to the underworld we were already in. “That’s not possible.”
Something was wrong. The air felt alive. I wasn't sure what that meant, but now that I felt it, I knew that it was just about the worst feeling in the world. Felt like there were eyes in the air, the wind, the sky, and everything seemed to have a faint static glow.
It takes hours before someone comes to "collect" me, but when they finally do, I don't bother to look up. All the angels are the same. Spineless assholes who never bother to address me beyond making some smartass remark.
“This is your fault,” I hiss, pointing at Sirena. “Me? How the fuck do you figure that?” “You’re the one who planted it in my head about this being a paint-by-numbers pregnancy!” It’s admittedly a shoddy argument, but I’m panicking and deflection comes naturally. “Is that really possible?” she asks, looking to Maiz.
“That’s it,” he coaches in an urgent whisper. “Feel the pain and the guilt. It’ll guide you. Life is pain and guilt and all the ugly things we try to push away to make room for what makes it worth living.”
“I’m an echo,” he answers, his gaze softening. “A fragment of someone who lives on only inside of you, but all it takes is a fragment--a shard--to break a diamond.” “Maiz,” I whisper. I’m not sure where the name comes from, but it resonates so deeply within me that I know it’s right even before I see the confirmation on his face.
“Vessel?” I repeat. “He’s… inside of me? Right now?” “This world is a creation of your mind,” he says, looking around the canopy of trees. “And an incredible mind, it is. Twenty years and it’s only just begun to crumble enough for me to break through.” “Twenty years?” I echo. “Please tell me you’re joking.” “I’m afraid not. He resets it every time you begin to doubt. Every time the illusion grows worn, but it was only a matter of time.
“You’re not real,” I say with greater resolve. Just speaking the words seems to draw power to me, and out of the corner of my eye, I see the edges of this fantasy world begin to recede into the darkness it truly is. “None of you are real.” The real Stevie is out there somewhere in the real world with the man I love and all the other people I left behind. The world I turned over to a monster.
“I already regret so much. I’ve missed so much,” I say, my chest tightening with every word spoken. “But not this. It’s time for me to wake up.” As soon as the words leave my mouth, their images begin to fade along with the rewritten history plastered over the gritty reality of my past.
Death is strange. It turns out, when Heaven and Hell are both closed for business, it’s not so much something that happens to you as a state you linger in. Like the lobby of a bus station or an airport terminal, somewhere between the gate and the Cinnabon stand.
