Understanding the British: A hilarious guide from Apologising to Wimbledon

by Adam Fletcher

For us Brits, there’s nothing worse than making a scene.

We’re into more ephemeral, metaphysical things: having a good heart, being a nice person, doing good deeds, not making a fuss.

Yet he says a few nasty comment about Americans.

Birthplace of Shakespeare. The Beatles. Yes, those Beatles. All four of them. We’re colossal, hit-it-out-of-the-park cultural overachievers.

Keep Calm and Carry On might have become our national motto, but it should really be Say Sorry Carry on Feeling Guilty and Come Back and Apologise Six More Times Just to Be Sure.

There is only one acceptable response to the question “How are you?” That answer is “Finethanksandyou?” (must be spoken as one word).

If there were an Olympics for profanity, you’d not get Team GB off the podium.

London today is, paradoxically, both the place to be and the place only oil sheiks can afford to be.