Words That Change Minds: The 14 Patterns for Mastering the Language of Influence

by Shelle Rose Charvet

start but don't complete them (think of New Year's Resolutions, January gym memberships,

Toward pattern as positive,

Away From Pattern is seen as negative.

"Opposition"

conflict arises not only because of the often-contrary vested interests of labor and management.

Conflict also arises because of the cultural differences between the two groups.

Management tends to negotiate in terms of moving toward its objectives,

labor attempts to prevent certain things from occurring.

Where does a person find motivation?

internal standards and beliefs?

source of motivation, or in other words,...

the two Patterns:

Internal Pattern in a Context provide their own motivation from within themselves.

difficulty accepting other people's opinions and outside direction. When

gather information from outside sources

they decide about it, based on internal standards.

hard to sup...

like other people's opinions, outside direction, and feedback from external sources to get and stay motivated.

External people do not hold standards within themselves.

Internal person may point to a part of their body and

External person may either not understand the question

"the brain is a large predictive machine, constantly comparing incoming sensory information and current experiences against stored knowledge and memories of previous experiences and predicting what will come next."

Internal mode does!

extreme Internal Pattern,

automatically discard any outside information that contradicts what they already believe. (See

Language and the Language of Suggestion

steps: Make the suggestion (Using the Language of Suggestion for Internals) State what problem it avoids or solves (Away From) State the benefit (Toward) Overall why it's easy to do (for Externals)

which is how clearly one sees one's "own values, passions, aspirations, fit with our environment, reactions (including thoughts, feelings, behaviors, strengths, and weaknesses), and impact on others."

Macho Pattern.

already know everything? have no problems, everything is perfect? if there are problems, they are of someone else's making? are better, stronger, smarter, more knowledgeable, and more important than anyone else?

first prepare your draft.

ask yourself if you have implied or stated the following:

There is something they don't a...

I am telling them wh...

They have a problem and I have t...

They are not perfect in some way, and/or I am better than th...

As you probably know....(then state the thing you suspect they do not know) Use the language of suggestion: You may wish to consider... I understand that other organizations have had this issue and what some of them have done is... How have you solved this problem? (implies they have already solved all the problems) With your experience and knowledge in this area.... Your role is.... My role is... (establishing different yet equal roles)

There are ten people walking around here with bad taste."

might have questioned what I was doing when I noticed the poor fit, instead of criticizing the design.

women tell me that their husbands often do not believe them, when they tell them there is something wrong with the car.

husbands need to determine that for themselves.

Internal person to listen and think a...

"information you might want to consider", or...

"Is it possible for a person to switch from Internal to External, or vice versa,

is a status report about how I (with my particular structural makeup) respond to Contexts."

One person

highly Internal

thought she had done a ba...

highly Ex...

thought she had done someth...