Regretting You

by Colleen Hoover

It’s my birthday, and I’m surrounded by everyone important to me, but for some reason, I feel more alone than I’ve ever felt.

“It means people who make mistakes usually learn from them. That doesn’t make them hypocrites. It makes them experienced.”

I’m going to start forgetting them. I’m sure it won’t happen at first, but it will, after time. I’m going to forget how my father sounded

For some reason, sadness in music eases the sadness in my soul. It’s like the worse 80the heartache in a song is, the better I feel.

Such a gentleman. Buying me weed and then disposing of it for me.

Lmfao

Grief is a beast, but it’s also a great excuse.

Me: Never mind. Don’t save me under a fake name. I don’t want to be Jason in your phone and I don’t want to be your fake sibling at the movie theater. Call me someday when I can just be Clara.

Periodddtttt

“Write it all down. Everything you want to remember about him. You’ll be surprised how soon you start to forget everything.”

“I’ve believed in you since the moment I met you. I believe in myself now that I’ve finally left you.”

I think it’s time I figure out who I was meant to become before I started living my life for everyone else.

“Right after something tragic happens, you feel like you’ve fallen off a cliff. But after the tragedy starts to sink in, you realize you didn’t fall off a cliff. You’re on an eternal roller coaster that just reached the bottom. Now it’s gonna be up and down and upside down for a long, long time. Maybe even forever.”

“You and I are in our thirties . . . we expect a fair amount of tragedy in our lives. But Clara is only sixteen. No one her age should have to 172deal with something this damaging. She’s lost in grief right now. You just have to let her find her way,

“I’ve never hated watermelon Jolly Ranchers. I only saved them because I knew they were your favorite.”

She’s defending him, but I get it. When you’re sixteen, you ignore all the warning signs.

“You’re only sixteen and look what you’ve been through. Life doesn’t play favorites.”

I’m looking for lip gloss when I hear a light tap on my window. I rush to my closet to find something to put on, but then I remember why Miller is here in the first place. He’s here to get me naked. The towel will do just fine.

A person can’t learn from someone they don’t respect. It just doesn’t work that way.

I wonder what my father would think about seeing me so sad on my birthday.

“I’ve only ever been with Chris.” Jonah is deep inside me when he stops suddenly and pulls back. Our eyes meet, and he smiles. “I’ve only ever wanted to be with you.”

“I think that’s the problem. Teenagers think their parents should have it all figured out, but the truth is, adults don’t really know how to navigate life any better than teenagers do.

Attraction isn’t something that only happens once, with one person. It’s part of what drives humans. Our attraction to each other, to art, to food, to entertainment. Attraction is fun. So when you decide to commit to someone, you aren’t saying, ‘I promise I’ll never be attracted to anyone else.’ You’re saying, ‘I promise to commit to you, despite my potential future attraction to other people.’”

“Relationships are hard for that very reason. Your body and your heart don’t stop finding the beauty and the attraction in other people simply because you’ve made a commitment to one person. If you ever find yourself in a situation where you’re drawn to someone else, it’s up to you to remove yourself from that situation before it becomes too hard to fight.”

Resentment is a heavy load to carry through life.