Regretting You

by Colleen Hoover

all I could do was laugh, because my life is complete and utter shit. It’s shit. It. Is. Shit.

“Clara isn’t struggling because Chris is no longer here. She’s struggling because he’s never coming back. There’s a difference.”

I’m already thinking about what else in this house might hold secret memories between the two of them that we could destroy.

“I’ve never hated watermelon Jolly Ranchers. I only saved them because I knew they were your favorite.”

“So. Just so you’re aware. I’m a virgin.” “I know a cure for that,”

They’re fruit flavored.” “Why are they flavored? Are condoms edible?”

We’ve never been with the person we belonged with until now.”

I’m confident that I’ll never spend a single second of my life regretting you.”

“I’m a genius,” Miller says. “Five months of hard and very illegal work finally paid off.” “I’m kinda proud of you,” Gramps says. “Even though I don’t want to condone anything illegal. But I mean . . . it’s pizza, so . . .”