Regretting You

by Colleen Hoover

I wonder if humans are the only living creatures that ever feel hollow inside. I don’t understand how my body can be full of everything bodies are full of—bones and muscles and blood and organs—yet my chest sometimes feels vacant, as if someone could scream into my mouth and it would echo inside of me.

Sometimes when we’re alone, he looks at me in a way that makes me feel empty when he looks away. It’s a feeling I’ve never gotten when Chris looks at me. This realization scares me to death.

It’s like my chest has been on a constant search for its missing piece, and Jonah is holding it in his fist.

“You’re a sacrificer. I don’t even know if that’s a real word, but that’s what you are. You do things you don’t want to do to make life better for the people around you.

It’s my birthday, and I’m surrounded by everyone important to me, but for some reason, I feel more alone than I’ve ever felt.

Find something to fill all the empty corners.

I’d been feeling 50unfulfilled. I’m proud of my husband and proud of my daughter, but when I look at myself and my life separate from theirs, there’s very little I can find to be proud of.

Relatable…

“It means people who make mistakes usually learn from them. That doesn’t make them hypocrites. It makes them experienced.”

I once heard someone say we’re all just one phone call away from our knees.

It’s the absolute truth. My voice comes out in a shaky whisper when I ask, “Is he okay?”

They look like they could be twins, but their personalities are nothing alike.

They look like they could be twins.

Elijah doesn’t look anything like Jonah. He looks just like Clara.

And Clara looks just like Chris.

As if their deaths weren’t enough, the blows just keep coming, and they’re getting more and more severe.

“I have a lot of favorite bands. I love music. It feeds my soul.”

“I’ve never hated watermelon Jolly Ranchers. I only saved them because I knew they were your favorite.”

I left because unlike Jenny and Chris, I had respect for them. For you. Please don’t ever call me selfish again, because that

was the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make in my entire life.”

Sometimes I feel like being an adult is so much easier than being a teenager, because you should have it all figured out as an adult.

You’re more emotionally mature, so you can handle crises better.

grown-ups might not have their shit figured out any more than we do. They just wear more-convincing masks.

Teenagers think their parents should have it all figured out, but the truth is, adults don’t really know how to navigate life any better

than teenagers do.