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Talon: Have I freaked you out? Guess I’m taking too long to respond. Me: Nah. Takes more than curiosity to scare me off. Talon: You know what they say about curiosity and the cat. Me: It killed it? Talon: Nah, it turned him gay. I can’t help but laugh even though I probably shouldn’t. Me: That’s a horrible joke, even for you.
Jackson walks in all sweaty and wearing a towel around his neck. He pauses, eyeing my tablet which has two guys still going at it—loudly—takes in my flushed face, and while his eyebrows shoot up in surprise, all he does is nod, say, “We really need to come up with some sort of system,” and then turns on his heel and walks back out again.
“I wish I could say we’re gonna kick ass out there, but you kinda interrupted my pregame ritual, so we’re totally gonna blow it.” Jackson laughs. “So, because you didn’t get to blow, we will?” “Exactly.”
“There’s so a story there …” “No story,” I bark, a little too aggressively. Noah puts his hands up in surrender. “Okay, fine, I’ll drop it.” “Thank you.” He rubs his chin. “For now. Maybe you should drink after all. Loose lips can be entertaining.” “You’re a bad influence.”
“So,” Maddox says, “are you currently happy with your representation?” Damon covers his boyfriend’s mouth with his hand. “Ignore him. I told him not to do that, but he’s not a very good listener.” Maddox mumbles something behind Damon’s hand that sounds like “I listen. I just ignore you.” I smile. “I’ll keep you in mind if I run into any issues.” Maddox pushes Damon’s hand away. “See. All you have to do is ask.” “It’s unprofessional,” Damon says. Maddox waves him off. “Professional smeshional.”
His eyes meet mine. “What do you want me to do?” “Get yourself off” falls out of my mouth, and I hope he doesn’t call me on my obviousness. I’m not so lucky. Of course not. This is Miller. The only guy in the world to truly call me on my shit. “Oh. I thought you, like, wanted me to knit you a sweater or something.”
“Then I guess there’s only one thing left for me to do.” “What’s that?” Miller’s tone takes on that husky side I’ve only begun to hear since we started fucking around. I’m guessing he’s expecting me to make a joke or say I’ll distract him from football with phone sex, but I’m dead serious when I say, “I’m gonna win you a championship ring.”
Noah shows the most interest he has all night when the halftime show kicks in, and part of me wonders how he can sit through these games when he has no interest in football. When I ask him that, he mumbles “Football pants.” I have to laugh.
I bounce on the balls of my feet like an excitable child. “Fine, but I guess this can only mean one thing tonight.” “Uh-oh,” Jackson says. I elbow Miller. “See, the kid does catch on quick. Double celebrations all ’round.”
I’ll be dealing with drunk Talon, which is super similar to dealing with my five-year-old niece when she’s overtired.
“Who’s ready for some training?” He pushes his way into the house and is way too excited for this time of morning. I close the door to stop the cold air from coming in. “I guess the correct answer here is me? You’re a day early.” “I knew you had your PT appointment today, and I wanted to come so I can talk strategy with your therapist.”
“Babe, they’re here.” “I’m trying not to burn shit. I’ll be out in a second!” Damon smiles. “Maddox is actually really good in the kitchen. He’s just excited you guys are here.” “You mean Talon,” I say. “Well, yeah, but I wasn’t going to be rude about it.” I laugh.
“I’m gonna go run you a bath. It’ll be good for your leg after training today.” “It’s cute you think I could fit in that bucket you call a tub.” “It’s a regular-sized tub, you big giant,” I mumble. Miller laughs.
“That’s not all.” My arms wrap around him from behind, and we waddle our way over to where a basket sits next to the blanket. “Ten bucks says you’re about to pull out kale chips and tell me they’re a treat.” My head drops onto his shoulder as I let out a little laugh. “You act as if I’m poisoning you.” “It tastes like you are.”
“Okay, so the deal is they aren’t together together according to Maddox. They’re just coming out together.” As Miller says that, Ollie admits on camera he didn’t even know Caleb until tonight. He’s coming out because of Caleb—because he doesn’t want him to have to do it alone. Have we been going about this the wrong way? Should we come out in support of Jackson instead of thinking we’re protecting him?
Damon takes a seat in his big boss chair. Jackson and I sit opposite him, but Miller wanders around the room, staring at Damon’s sports memorabilia on his shelves. “So, why are we here, how dead is dead, and where do we need to hide the body?” Damon asks. “One day that joke’s gonna backfire on you,” Jackson says. “Your client may actually reply ‘In the alley, super dead, and New Jersey. Because that’s the only appropriate place to dispose of bodies.’” Damon huffs. “Jersey’s not that bad! Your and Maddox’s aversion to it, I swear to God.”
“But I don’t see it as a reason to live in the closet. We just need to devise a coming-out strategy.” “I don’t recommend getting photographed blowing each other.” Jackson winks. “Just sayin’.” Damon agrees. “Let’s knock that one off the list.”
“It’s not easy—loving someone you know other people will have opinions about. It’s not easy being anything society doesn’t expect you to be. But when you’re with the person who was literally created with the sole purpose of being your other half, there’s no way to fight it. There’s only the choice to hide it or face it together, and I want to fight every battle and overcome every obstacle with Miller. I want us to help pave the way for others to be who they want to be and love who they want to love.”
It’s also the night I never thought would come—the night I ask someone to be my forever person on paper and not just in our hearts. When I told my family my plan, my mom said I was romantic, Dad said I had balls of steel, and my brother said it was douchey.
