A gift, she realizes with surprise. Her life, to be shaped and re-created however she chooses. The emotional place she was in when she swallowed the pills belongs to another girl in another life. She’s not numb anymore. The encounter with death has flayed her wide open.
There’s something about the panic that hots when you’re waiting to die and the relief when you realize you haven’t. It is truly a different kind of rock bottom. And there is really no way to go but up.
Yes, people who have failed suicide attempts can be upset when it doesn’t work and all they want to do is try again. But this perfectly encapsulates the other side of the spectrum. In the same way that random near death experiences give you a new lease on life and teach you not to take things for granted, a failed attempt can open a suicidal person up to the other options they have when they’re at their lowest point.
